butterflies and ladybugs

Am I a twit?

2009-06-18T20:40:00.005-02:30

Got your attention didn't I?

Now, you are probably wondering what this snazzy blog title is leading up to... well, I'll start off by saying that I like to think of myself as an intelligent, interesting, level headed individual. I'm not just a little piece of fluff in case you didn't know. I do have a brain. My university studies major in the holocaust; does that sound like something a twit would do?

So that being said, why is it that I'm addicted to the vampire phenomenon? I mean I love this stuff! I'm not 13, I'm over 30 for cripes sake! What's with me?! Take Twilight for example; I was obsessed with it and I don't even know why! As a woman I should be mortified that Bella doesn't care what Edward does or says as long as he LOVES her. She actually gets off on the fact that he's sooo possessive of her. I mean I hate all that romantic crap so it definitely wasn't the love story aspect that kept me reading. I don't have a bad boy infatuation either so, it wasn't that and believe me when I say I wasn't spellbound by the good writing.

But yet, I have to admit that I unknowingly and unwillingly got sucked into the Edward trap. Was I drawn to him because he represents the perfect man (and I use the term Man loosely)? Do I secretly wish to have an Edward or, for that matter, even a Jacob in my life? I really don't think that's it either.
Most chats I've had with fellow readers focus on Edward but maybe he's just the tasty wrapper covering the reason of why we are all twilight fanatics.

Perhaps what I'm attracted to is the escape that vampires offer me. Think about it for a minute. Vampires are free to do as they will without consequence. Its all about obsession and fulfillment. They 'live' and do as they want and they take it without worry. They offer escape from our every day dull life which is full of deadlines, rules, restrictions and societal norms.
Show me one person who doesn't desire the freedom to escape their everyday life without consequence for just one minute and I'll show you a twit.

Perhaps our world as we know it has become so bogged down with crud that we all need a little more vampire in it to free ourselves. And, just maybe I'm not a twit after all. Yes, I've been bitten by the Twilight bug and I'm proud to say so.

On a side note, if you love vampires and the supernatural like me, I highly recommend the Kim Harrison series on Rachel Morgan. It's definitely read worthy and quite entertaining. The first book is called "Dead Witch Walking". I'd check it out if I were you.

Been there, Done that

2009-06-18T20:24:00.005-02:30

Many of you out there have asked for an update on China. Well, frankly I've been there and done that. Truth is, I have nothing new to post. I'm still riding that ridiculously SLOW boat to China. They are currently matching
files that were logged in during March, 2006. Our file made it to China in September, 2006. Do the math people...
I figure that we have AT LEAST two more years before referral.

Its been tough, but then again I'm tough so, I'll keep hanging on until someone pushes me off the swing.

Its all about survival baby!

Off with her Head!

2009-06-18T20:07:00.004-02:30

O.k. I admit it. Over the past year I've become quite lax in posting. Actually, I just noticed that my last post was August, 2008. I'm so ashamed...

To err is to be human. After all, I never said I was perfect. I know, I'm just making excuses and they sound lame and pathetic even to me. I think I even just saw the dog roll her eyes.

So I say to all my devoted followers out there, your screams of 'off with her head' have been finally heard. I say lets get this party started and I promise to blog like a maniac.

Now, I just have to decide what to blog about. Stay tuned for another cliff hanger!!

What does it mean?

2008-08-01T13:36:00.005-02:30

I know, I haven't posted in so long. I really have no excuse other than the wait is driving me bonkers and there is nothing I can do about it.

I thought I would post this as I've been turning it around in my mind now for a few days.

I've read many blogs over the last 3 years and I've noticed that many people always say they have had vivid feelings or dreams about their babies. In these dreams they know their age, appearance, provinve in which they wrere born etc.

Now, I always dismissed them with a hearty 'phffft... whatever', which is kind of funny in itself becuase I am a great believer in fate etc. yet, I never put much stock in it any time I read it.

Up to the last two weeks I've never have experienced such feeling/dream other than the fact that three years ago I told my sw that the China program was going to change and that I truely believed that'the hubby'and I would be the last few to get to China. (look how that's turning out!)

Anyhow, back to three weeks ago. Yup, I had my first dream. I vividly dreamt that we were in China meeting our daughter. We were in Guang Dong and she was 15 months old. I remember being happy and excited. There was no mention of a name nor can I remember the details of her appearance only that she was healthy and robust.

Fast foreward to two nights after the first dream. Again, I had a vivid dream that we were in China. This time we were meeting our son. I can clearly see his precious face. He was tall, slim, had beautiful deep chocolate eyes and a beautiful smile that radiated happiness. I too was beaming. The only thing was he was 9 years old! We were all estatic and although it was not apparent which province we were in I do distinctly remember discussing names with my new son. We were having a great time carefully considering and ultimately rejecting each name together.

Now I ask you, what does this mean? Let's hope it is all good!

Monkeying Around and French Toast

2008-02-13T13:40:00.006-03:30

I know, I know. I'm still bad. I haven't posted in like FOREVER! and I promised too! tisk tisk... To tell you the truth I really have nothing to post on the adoption front. Well, that's not entirely true. We are FINALLY out of review since
November 30, 2007. As of the first week in February the CCAA has matched up to December 27, 2005. Yup, that's what I said. They are still matching 2005! In addition to all of this our agency recently sent out a letter stating that China has really slowed down their referrals (ahh, no kidding!), wait times continue to increase drastically and that anyone who might be open to special needs should consider it. Also, anyone who is willing to consider other countries should do so. Hmmm.... there's a mouthful for you. The hubby and I decided to stick with China for the long haul. So, we wait... and wait... and wait.... Check back with me sometime in 2009 or 2010. Perhaps I'll be going to China then if I'm lucky.
Now you know why I haven't posted. I'm just so tired of posting crappy news.

On to french toast!

I've decided to take a hiatus from China and post other things that are dear to my heart. Anyone who knows me knows I love to cook so I've decided to begin posting some of my favorite recipes. After all, when you feel crappy, what do you do? You eat! So with that being said, pull out your oven mitts and start cooking!

I'm going to start with one of my favorites "Baked Blueberry French Toast"

This is SOOOOO good! Assemble it the night before and in the morning just bake it!

Please note though that this recipe feeds a crowd (12). If you are cooking for a smaller group then I suggest you half the recipe.

"Baked Blueberry French Toast"

(if you don't like blueberries then you can substitute with raspberries or bananas)

1 loaf of French or Italian bread
1 block of cream cheese softened and cut in chunks
1 cup fresh or frozen blueberries
12 eggs
2 cups of milk
1/3 cup maple syrup
1/2 tsp cinnamon

Tear bread into 1 inch cubes and grease a 13x9 baking pan. (If cooking for a smaller group then use a 11x7 dish.)

place 1/2 the bread cubes in the pan and evenly distribute the cream cheese chunks over the bread. Sprinkle the blueberries on. Place remaining bread over the top.

Beat together the eggs, milk, syrup and cinnamon and pour the mixture over the bread. Cover with foil or saran wrap and refrigerate overnight (8 hours)

Remove from the fridge. Heat oven to 350 degrees. Bake, covered for 30 minutes. Uncover and bake additional 30 minutes or until lightly browned on top and center is set. Cut into squares and serve with maple syrup. Serves 12.

Enjoy and I'll be back soon with another yummy recipe! I promise, no more monkeying around...

I should have been on Santa's Naughty list

2008-01-02T15:47:00.000-03:30

I just checked my blog and realized I haven't posted in quite a while. I've been bad asI haven't been keeping my avid followers up to date with the current happenings.

Well, let's see. Since the last time I posted the hubby and I finally made it out of the Review Room and have since moved into the matching room. Thank goodness! I thought this would never happen. This was the last test to pass so to speak. Whew! The CCAA has now gone over our file with a magnifying glass and actually approved us! Now, all we have to do is continue to wait. Easier said than done I think. Christmas day marked 15 months for our file being logged in China. I wonder how many more months will we have to wait? I better not think too much abut that one. It's amazing how time can fly and at the same time continue on at a snail's pace.

I was browsing though my older posts and noticed that the first estimate of wait time to referral given to us by our agency was 16 months and if that had proved true the hubby and I would be expecting to see Jade's face for the first time this month and traveling to get her in February, 2008. Alas, that was not to be. The next quoted time to referral given to us was 24 months. I highly doubt this will ring true either because rumors are flying that the CCAA will completely halt referring babies 2 weeks before the Olympics and does not mention when/if they will restart.

I also noticed that in my previous posts I had mentioned that we would begin to see a shift of focus in IA from NSN ( non-special needs) to Special needs. This was one thing that did ring true in late 2007. Its a double edged sword for me because while I'm glad to see these children getting the homes they deserve I find that I get frustrated and angry because my line for NSN seems to be stuck. It's like it hardly moves anymore.

In addition, the CCAA posted that they would allow concurrent adoptions for those families waiting in line for referral. While great news, this is also double edged for me due to a number of reasons which I refuse to go into because if I did I'd be here forever.

Anyhow folks, that's an update/recap of the end of 2007 as it pertains to me and the hubby. What 2008 will bring I don't know, all I can say I hope it's fun, safe, happy and healthy and I hope your's is too. I'd like to say that I see a trip to China for me in 2008 but it seems too far away at the moment. If not 2008 then perhaps 2009?
I know I'm drinking from that fountain of eternal hope again.

Take care everyone and enjoy 2008, I know I plan to.

I always knew there was more to the story

2007-11-07T19:03:00.000-03:30

The story of Eve and adam

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God... "Lord, I have a problem!" "What's the problem, Eve?" "Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy." "Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above. "Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples." "Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you." "What's a 'man,' Lord?" "This man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat, and be vainglorious; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But, he'll be bigger, faster, and will like to hunt and kill things.He'll be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be too smart, so he'll also need your advise to think properly." "Sounds great," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow. "What's the catch, Lord?" "Yeah, well.... you can have him on one condition." "What's that, Lord?" "As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, and self-admiring...So you'll have to let him believe that I made him first...So, just remember... it's our secret... Woman-to-woman!"

CCAA update

2007-11-04T21:23:00.000-03:30

Just thought I'd do a quick post.

The CCAA has finished the placement of children for the families whose adoption application documents were registered with our office before December 8, 2005.
(we are Sept. 25, 2006 so we have a LONG way to go before being matched)
AND more importantly,
there has been no change in the review room (crap!). The CCAA has finished the review of the adoption application documents registered with our office before August 31, 2006.
I guess this means we'll have to wait a little longer to find out if we've passed through the review room.

I feel like the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland

2007-11-02T19:44:00.001-02:30

You know the one that runs around willy nilly with the big time watch screaming "I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date!" Well that's exactly how I feel these last couple of days. It all started the night before Halloween when my darling 4 year old niece called. We talked together for over a half hour and by the end of the conversation it hit me like a tonne of bricks. I feel like time is racing by yet standing still and there are things I need to do. I can hear the clock ticking but I'm late. I'm running behind. Everyone else has their precious children and I'm missing out. Every day I and many more waiting parents are out there frantically running to catch up to our children and to be the parents we so desperately want to be. To have our days filled with fun, laughter and love.

I know I have an important date with my child but when it will be is what eludes me and I don't know about you but I'm tired of being the white rabbit.

I wonder....

2007-10-18T19:22:00.000-02:30

Uh oh, or to borrow a well known song title from Miss Britney; Oops, I think I did it again.

Over the last few weeks 'the hubby' and I (o.k. the hubby protested loudly while I blissfully ignored him) decided to pull out the old aquarium from the depths of the basement. Now, those who know me know I love all animals great and small and for the most part those creatures, whether great or small, whom have found their way into my loving arms have thrived. Yet, while I was dusting off the tank, antsy with anticipation over my soon to be new additions, I swear I heard a few horrified shrieks coming from the direction of the local pet store. See, I have somewhat of a turbulent past when it comes to fish. Basically, fish and I don't make a good match. Somehow, and it is beyond me why, every fish, with the exception of my first two goldfish, honey and bunny, have met with an untimely demise. I really don't understand. These fish of mine have the ultimate pad with the most up to date doo dads, they have filtration bubbles coming out of the kazoo, endless shipwrecks, castles and ferns to frolic about in, over, through and under. They dine on scrumptious cuisine. Yet, they die. I. just. don't. get. it.

Case in point, three weeks ago I went to the pet store and bought 2 pretty little calico fantails and the most beautiful Betta I have ever laid eyes on. I carefully and lovingly transported my little gems home, proudly showed them off to 'the hubby', the dogs, the bird and anyone else who crossed my path. I did EXACTLY as the pet store lady advised. I was so proud. All three got along swimmingly. For one whole week they flourished! I was practically walking on air. Me and my fish were doing just fine thank you very much. Then I saw it. The dreaded little white spots, like little grains of salt, dotting my little babies! Oh no! They had ICK!!!

I decided that no ICK was going to get my fishies so I rushed out to the pet store for help. My pet store lady wasn't there and I began to panic. My only option was a little scrawny pet store youngster with more holes and piercings on her face then I had over my entire body. What was I to do? My fish needed me so I swallowed my pride and asked for help. She really didn't seem that concerned. She shuffled over to the fish aisle and shoved a bottle of blue stuff in my hand. She mumbled something about not feeding them for 7 days and to make sure I replaced the water after treatment. I specifically asked if there was anything else that needed to be done. She looked at me like I had 10 heads and shook her head no.

I rushed home an treated my fish believing that in 7 days my fishies would be as good as new. I could almost hear them utter sighs of relief as I poured in the blue goo into the tank. I diligently treated my babies for 4 days but they didn't seem to be getting any better, in fact, they were now covered in white spots and worse my beautiful betta had become victim to the ick as well. I just didn't understand. Finally I called another pet store and explained what was happening. Turns out the scrawny pet store girl sold me the wrong stuff AND didn't tell me that I was to turn off the filter! For the last four days I had been treating my babies to no avail. Every time I put the blue goo in the tank the filter would just suck it right back out! Furthermore, she had told me NOT to feed them for 7 days. The people at the other pet store told me that fish could only go without food for 72 hours!

I was livid! If I had that scrawny pet store girl she'd have one less piercing I tell you! Anyhow, I bought the right stuff but it was too late. My pretty little calico fantails were just too riddled with disease to survive and much to my dismay they ended up being flushed. The hubby was so sad that day. I'm happy to report that the betta managed to recuperate and won the battle of the ick. I'm waiting to finish treating the tank for ick and then I'm off to the races again to get just a couple of fish to keep the betta company. Will I ever learn?

As I sit here typing this I've noticed that my betta looks a little green around the gills so to speak. I'm hoping he rallies once again but my gut tells me different. Perhaps this will be the last of the fish for me. I just don't understand my luck with the aquatic creatures.

Oh, what's that? you're going out of town for the weekend and you want me to look after your fish? no problem! Uh, did I just hear a shriek of terror coming from the direction of your tank?

Back in the saddle!

2007-10-11T17:46:00.000-02:30

Hi folks,
Yes I have returned. I admit I've lost touch with my precious blog over the summer. Now, whether this hiatus came from frustration I will not admit so lets just call it a much needed summer break.

So much has happened since I last posted. 'The hubby' and I FINALLY made our 1 year anniversary for LID on September 25, 2007. Yahoo! Furthermore, we've recently found out that the CCAA is currently reviewing files with Sept. 2006 LIDS. You know what that means?! Yup, that's us! Can I have another Whoop Whoop in the house?!Yes, I must admit all is good these days.

Well, I'm off to ride into the sunset for today but don't fret avid followers for I will post again another day!

Giddy up tiny!

Interesting Article worth the read

2007-06-29T09:07:00.000-02:30

http://www.atimes.com/atimes/China/IB13Ad01.html

Update from CCAA

2007-06-11T13:51:00.000-02:30

Well, the CCAA has matched up to November 7, 2005. Not the big batch that most were hoping for but to me any change, as long as it doesn't go down is a speed up. A while ago they matched 2 days, then 4 and now 7. I guess it all depends on how you look at it. Unfortunately, no change in the review room date. Will we EVER get off of this rollercoaster?!

Some wise words to remember

2007-06-08T13:47:00.001-02:30

If happiness is in your destiny, you need not be in a hurry.

Still Waiting

2007-06-05T11:52:00.000-02:30

enough said...

A common occurance in Newfoundland

2007-06-04T16:04:00.000-02:30

During the month of June and even July this is a common sight around our shores. This picture was taken at Blackhead on the way to Cape Spear this past Saturday. There are many more that were too far off to take pictures of but if and when they move closer to shore I'll post pictures of them too.

Inspiration can come from the strangest places

2007-05-31T15:06:00.000-02:30

Well folks I think I've finally cracked under the pressure of the waiting game; either that or someone, somewhere managed to send me a sign from the unlikeliest of places.

Last night 'the hubby' and I settled down to watch the movie Rocky Balboa. Who would of thought that I would recieve inspiration from the Italian Stallion himself! O.K., you can pick yourself up off the floor now and stop laughing...

Anyhow, in one scene Rocky was having a heart to heart with his son. He was telling his son that it wasn't the beatings he took that made him strong it was the fact that he could take the beatings and still manage to get up and continue to move forward.

Now there was a little gem of information that got me thinking. I've often felt helpless and defeated through this process but perhaps I'm looking at it all wrong. Maybe, I need to pick myself up, dust myself off and do a few victory laps around the adoption ring because no matter how many beatings I've taken so far, I'm still in the ring. So, three cheers to Rocky for helping me realise that I am undefeated!

Stop laughing!

Patiently waiting for an update again

2007-05-31T12:30:00.001-02:30

Yup, its that time of month again when people are on the edge of their seats. Some are waiting to see if they are one of the lucky ones that will see their child for the first time while others are waiting to see if they have finally made it in or out of the review room. Then there are those who wait to see if their file is sent to China and there are those who wait for their LID. Lastly, we have those that have just begun the process and are waiting, watching , hoping that they will not have to wait as long as us before them to see their child's face.

What a mixture of excitement, anticipation and frustration each month brings. Yet, its amazing how we preservere, pull up our socks and settle in to wait again. I've learned that it is shear hope that gets us through time and time again.

If anyone is looking for me, I'll be stuck in front of the computer glued to the CCAA site waiting for the date to change, hoping that "the hubby" and I are one step closer to Jade. Donations of chocolate will gladly be accepted to keep me from starving!

The same but different

2007-05-24T13:10:00.000-02:30

Yesterday's post entitled "Why do I look different, Mommy" brought a lot of feedback and got me thinking back to my PRIDE days. I remember our Social Worker asked us to consider how our child might feel being 'different'.

At the time my first instinct, like many other of my classmates I'm sure, was to think a child of mine would be the same as if they were biological. Simply put, there would be no difference, nor would they be labelled different and dare the brave individual who would argue otherwise. Boy, I tell you, would they be in for a fight. I thought of myself (and still do) as a fiesty lioness protecting her cubs.
I knew when I looked at Jade I would not see her chinese-ness or different. I would only see my daugther. But what about Jade herself and others around her? How would they see her and feel..

Part of me thought beyond 'myself' for a minute and the next thing I knew I was blurting out that it was o.k. to be different and that it was o.k. to tell the child just this. I don't think my intended message was clearly received because all of a sudden I must have grown 6 heads and turned rainbow colored with bumps and scales. My classmates were staring at me like I was a monster. I swear, all of the oxgyen was swept up into a black hole from the collective gasp of my mates. I was met with a sea of blank stares.

I looked to 'the hubby' to throw me a life raft but he too sat there scratching his head looking perplexed. I realised I was on my own. What did I say that was so wrong? I looked at my mates as they sat staring back at me, mouths agape. I stood there and the first thought that came to mind was to say "umm, excuse me, but has it escaped your notice, but the child you are proposing to adopt will not look like you." I decided NOT to say this as I was afraid I was already close enough to being linched and I really didn't want to upset anyone as that was not my intention. These mates were all wonderful, caring people and many had been through so much to get to this point. But, perhaps I had hit a sore spot with some of them. Too many times I had heard people wishing a child of their own regardless of age, color or race.
They would be no different than their own.

The bottom line is yes, regardless of how you as parents will see them, our children will be different. My point was that people shouldn't be afraid to be different even if it means looking different. I know for a fact that Jade will ask me why does she look different than everyone else. Why would I try to make her believe something that she is not. She is different; she is Chinese and that's o.k. I want her to be proud of herself for who she is and where she came from. I don't want her or someone else trying to make her fit into a mold of what we/they/she thinks she should be. I want her to love herself for who she is and for how she looks. Being different needs to be projected in a POSITIVE light. We, as parents, need to look after our children and to do this we need to tear down these stinky walls that are painted in the stigma that being different or looking different is substandard. If we as parents unknowingly try to pigeon hole our children into 'normal' boxes, how will they ever grow and prosper? You need to shout it from the roof tops that being different is o.k. and wonderful. She should not have to bear that burden of being the 'same.'

Perhaps this is what the Social Worker was getting at. She wanted us to think beyond ourselves for a minute and consider how our children would think/feel about being different and how her world would think of her. More importantly, how were us parents going to deal with our children's feelings and how would we manage this difference.

Yes, without question, these children will be loved, for they are our own, but its how you handle things that sets the stage of whether or not your child is happy, safe, comfortable with themselves and thrive.

We owe it to them and ourselves. Embrace them for everything that they are and for what they represent. They should be cherished. They are different but the same. A wonderful gift.
Do you think I still have 6 heads with scales and bumps?

Why do I look different, Mom?

2007-05-23T10:29:00.000-02:30

Why do I look different, Mom? My daughter will ask one day. How come I don't resemble all the kids with whom I play? My hair is inky black and straight, my skin's a different hue. So would you tell me, Mom, why don't I look like you? You're an Oriental flower, I'll tell my darling girl. Your skin and hair and eyes all come from halfway 'round the world. The sun of China warmed your skin to that exquisite shade. Your eyes are China's beauty marks, your hair a silk cascade. The color of a midnight sky, unlighted by a star. So don't think you look different, dear, You look like who you are.

Author unknown

A resilient bunch we are!

2007-05-17T13:45:00.000-02:30

The last 4 or 5 months seemed to have brought with it nothing but doom and gloom and I myself admit that I have gotten tangled up in its web many times. Just this morning I made the comment to 'the hubby' that we SHOULD be in the review room by September if all goes well and that we SHOULD know whether or not we've been approved to move on into the(dare I say it) matching room. He replied in a rather bleak tone 'it's going to be a LONG summer'. The first thing that shot out of my mouth (no, not projectile vomit - although sometimes when I see that we might have to wait longer, it almost does) was 'No it won't. Think about it. This month we'll be LID 8 months!' I'm sure 'the hubby' thought I had a couple of screws loose in the 'ole noggin at that point. While I left him to ponder over where exactly I had left my sanity, I realised that when I'm not trying to fight my way out of the nasty spider's web of rumours I hardly notice the wait; actually it has moved along quite fast. Why is that? I've come to learn that we, as adopting parents, are quite a hardy bunch. We take a leap of faith with IA and never give up hoping that things will turn out fine, no matter of the heartache, hardship and red tape, we believe we will be triumphant as we WILL have our baby in the end. IA is not for the faint of heart. You have to withstand a lot of heartache and heartbreak and you know,when you get caught up in the spider's web of IA it can do funny things to you. I've found that in the process thus far, there have been many times that I've temporarily lost sight of my goal and even questioned whether or not I would continue. Its been no secret that 'the hubby' and I have spent many hours discussing our route and have even thought about switching countries. Yet, time and time again I just couldn't let go of China. I needed a clear sign that I was meant to stay on this path.

Just the other day I spoke with a dear aunt of mine who, of course, asked if there was any news on the baby yet. I droaned on about the extended wait and how it be 2-3 years before we are matched. Her reply caught me off guard and in a nanosecond I turned into a raging beast. She had the nerve to ask me if I thought it was really worth it. Rather indignantly, with a hearty snort to emphazise my displeasure I said without a doubt. There it was in black and white. China was where I was meant to be. I had my sign and my answer.

Love endures people and I cannot give up on Jade. We love her too much already.

tough as nails

2007-05-09T13:37:00.000-02:30

Babies often travel great distances, sometimes up to 8 hours, to meet their perspective parents. Often, it is a trip that takes place on a bus. For many of these babies it is the first time outside of the orphanage walls. They are bombarded with strange smells, sounds and sights. The orphanages they have left behind most likey have no indoor heating so the babies are bundled in layers upon layers of clothing so that only their little faces are exposed. During this trip the babies are often not fed or changed (remember the bus ride can be up to 8 hours) and many are sick to some extent with colds or will develop colds/respiratory issues soon after. They are confused, over stimulated, tired, hungry and wet.

It's gotcha day and parents are pacing, waiting. The babies arrive and a parental explosion of sorts occurs. Parental emotions run the gammet from crying, laughing, shouting and even to numbness. Their waiting has finally come to an end. All of this electricity is picked up by the babies. One by one names are called and babies are thrust into parents arms. Some babies heads have been shaved (often resembles a buzz cut). I assumed that this was done in some orphanages for health reasons such as to stop the spread of lice, but I have later read that some orphanages do this so that sick babies can be fed and given medications by IV attached through the head. Some babies refuse to look at their parents and are quiet while others cry for their care givers, heatbroken. Some babies can be quite charming, smiling and even giggling at their parents and everyone else around them. The parents don't care. They are happy just to have them in their arms. The babies are brought back to hotel rooms where parents can 'look them over'.

They begin by removing the layers of clothing. It is then that they notice the babies legs are tiny, almost spindle like. The legs and arms have little to no muscle tone. This is the result of a number of things. Chinese culture believes that babies are to be carried. They are NEVER put on the floor. For those in orphanages there are little or often no activities to engage them to develop their muscles. They are left in cribs for hours at a time often seeing the 'nanny' only when it is the scheduled feeding/changing times. There is no stimulation. Some babies develop extended stomachs commonly referred to as buddha bellies yet they are grossly underweight by western standards. This comes from lack of nutrition. Most babies are fed a hot thick bottle and sometimes a rice congee. They can come to you in split pants. The babies have never worn diapers. Many will refuse to eat,drink or mess their new diapers for the first day or so. This is an emotional roller coaster for parents. Baby emotions run the extreme. They will scream, cry, thrash or be expressionless or non responsive. A smile is nowhere to be found. The babies cannot sit up by themselves without help nor can some even hold their heads up on their own. This is termed as 'floppy'. Their fine and gross motor skills are delayed. At this point parents begin to wonder if their child is possibly autistic or has some undiagnosed medical issue. The babies can become easily over stimulated in chaotic situations (large crowds) and some develop tactile issues. (too many unfamiliar sights,sounds and smells for their little minds to process) In earlier adoption years head thrashing and finger gazing were all too common occurances in the babies. Head thrashing was a coping mechanism while finger gazing was a self-stimulation mechanism. They had nothing to look at in the crib except the movement of their fingers. They often gazed at the fingers for hours at a time. Many of these earlier babies had a turned eye. Often it was due to constant finger gazing. (Try it yourself. You'll see that you focus so intently on your fingers that your eyes turn inward). Finally, even though they are a year or more at Gotch'a day they are quite often on the development level and physically resemble a 6 month old.

It is day three and suddenly you see a light at the end of the tunnel. It comes in the form of a little smile, giggle or response to her name being called. All of a sudden she becomes upset if you are out of her sight. She cries and raises her arms to be held. She goes from almost delayed in appearance to making direct eye contact with you. She wants to be held constantly. You see that she can almost sit up by herself. She is starting to look around her environment more. She wants to eat and drink. She is beginning to walk with help and she starts to baby babble. There is more interaction and imitation which is often first witnessed when she blows her first raspberry. She smiles less around strangers and in their presence she will often cling to you for dear life.

This is known as transition behaviour. Up to this point babies are assessing their surroundings while living in self protection mode. As they become introduced to more of the outside world and all it has to offer it helps show them stability and safety. Food is also the key. Better food means better nutrition which equals safety. For the first time in their little lives their needs are being COMPLETELY met. They begin to catch up in their fine and gross motor skills and their social development improves.

Most, if not all of these babies will overcome their delays with good nutrition, stimulating environment and consistant phyiscal contact and attention. Some babies will need short term therapy to catch up.This is what many parents face when meeting and getting to know their babies during the first few days. A little daunting and overwhelming isn't it. Is it worth it? Without a doubt. Not all babies will have every one of these symptoms, instead they will have variations. One thing for certain is that the babies are all tough as nails and are suriviors. The coping mechanisms they learn at such a young age when everyone around them is certain they are so fragile is impressive and amazing. Each and every baby is a blessing.

Thanks, I needed that!

2007-05-07T13:10:00.000-02:30

I'm still laughing out loud as I write this but I'll get to that in a minute. People, today is one of those days where you wish you had thrown the alarm clock against the wall, pulled the bed covers over your head, squished down to the bottom of the bed so that you resembled a bunched up blanket under the covers and blissfully slept the day away. Yup, I've had 3 panic attacks already and its not even 1:00. In my desperation I sought refuge. I pulled up one of my favoriate blogs called "Antique Mommy" and happened upon an old post entitled "Gotta Dance". Well, I started to giggle, which turned into a chuckle and finally I was laughing so hard! It is a post about her son who had just recently discovered he liked to dance. What struck me really funny was that her son reminds me so much of 'the hubby" when dancing. It cracked me up! I quote from the Antique Mommy " Sean was doing the stir dance in his car seat like the whitest white boy that ever did a funky white boy dance" That, ladies and gentlemen, is how she described her son's dancing and it is a mirror reflection of 'the hubby's' dancing abilites. Believe me, if you too wish this day had been flushed down the toilet, you need to check out the Antique Mommy blog. (I've included her blog address on the right hand side of Jade's blog) She rocks! Thanks Antique Mommy, I needed that!

To all of you out there, remember, when things get you frazzled you can always rely on the funky chicken and gettin' down with your bad self to pull you through! Keep dancin'.

Babies, Babies Babies and a few ruffled feathers...

2007-05-01T13:07:00.000-02:30

Hi everyone,

Today has been a wonderful day in the adoption circles. Referrals have arrived and there are many happy people around the world. If you would like to see some of those happy families please click on my link to the rumor queen site on the bottom right hand side of the blog. On her main page you will see that she has a list of blogs. Go on, check it out - we all need a baby fix!

"The hubby" has had to 'gently' remind me about the power that my pen and words often yield. I do not realise how stong I write and the emotions that I unknowingly stir up..
It looks like I've done it yet again. It seems that I've ruffled more than a few feathers over the last couple of weeks during my rantings of the IA program possibly scaling down in the future. I do apologize for offending/upsetting anyone BUT I can't help the way I feel and see the writing on the wall. ( o.k., so be it, yes the writing is on MY wall and probably not yours) To be honest and fair, we cannot even begin to guess what the CCAA/China has in its plans for the future of IA. I feel (and people this is only my gut instinct here) IA is in for a drastic change. At this point we are seeing less referrals each month and a total reduction in referrals for IA yearly. The CCAA is agressivly pursuing a domestic adoption program, Chinese economic growth has tripled and the CCAA has stated that the IA program will have less babies available to it. Now, interpret that how you like. I hope that China does keep the IA program up and running for a LONG time but those involved with IA cannot ignore that lately, the ground beneath us is becoming increasingly shakey. I'm sure the CCAA will continue IA for a while to come but whether you want to admit it or not it is changing and in a BIG way. What these changes will bring in the future is anyone's guess. The bottom line is that if CCAA does change the adoption program all that matters is that these children get the homes/families they deserve and if that means they find them in their own country rather than through the IA program then who are we to argue? A hard pill to swallow I know but to me the children come first; not us. (this is my personal opinion people, I'm not speaking for everyone!)

A glimmer of hope and my cup runn'th over with rumours

2007-04-30T13:00:00.000-02:30

No, it can't be. It just can't be! Is that a little ray of light I see peeking through? Please tell me it is and that my eyes aren't deceiving me. I've been in this dreary fog for so long that I'm weary; I'm used to being in the dark.

O.k. enough with the metaphors. Today I learned that the CCAA has managed to match 5 whole days of files during April. This deserves a big woo hoo for it means that October 2005 is finally finished! There were earlier predictions that the CCAA would take up to 3 more months to match the remaining 5 days in October 2005. This is big news because the last 5 days of October 2005 were huge in terms of the # of files logged in. Sadly, no word on how far the CCAA is in the review room but at least I know 2006 files are in there. I hope this means a pick up in referrals in the coming months.

Now, on to the latest rumours. There are some floating about that the word has come down to the CCAA to clear up the back log of files ASAP.(numbers of between 25,000 -30, 000) This is wonderful if true; hopefully we'll get to China before 2010 as predicted. (I shudder every time I hear that number) I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens.

There is another rumour as well. Many believe that the China Adoption program has begun to shift gears so to speak; THEY say we are witnessing the phasing out of IA (international Adoption) for NSN (non-special needs children) and seeing a focus on IA for SN (special needs children) instead. THEY say that SN will be the only children available for the IA program in the future and all of the NSN children will be filtered into the domestic program. I have to agree that this seems to be the case.

Another rumour is only confirming what I have said for years. Some believe that China is beginning to wean itself away from the IA program altogether. There was an article in this past weekend's Globe and Mail discussing China and the use of ultrasounds to determine the sex of a child. In China, ultrasounds are illegal but many people still use them without the Govt's knowledge. If they find that they are carrying a girl they often abort the baby regardless of the trimester. While this article does not mention IA it leaves the reader wondering how much longer IA will continue in China. This is closely tied with the 1 child policy in China. This policy will stay in affect until 2015 when it will then need to be renewed. The question is with the CCAA's new emphasis on domestic adoption and increasing economic growth will 2015 signify the end of IA adoption in China? Really, it is anyone's guess what China will do but my gut instinct tells me that "the hubby" and I will be one of the last lucky few who will get the honour and pleasure of bringing home their china doll. By the end of 8 years the China program could be slim to none for IA. The rumour is that Africa (thanks to Angelina and Madonna?) will be the new China in terms of IA. Who knows. Again, wait and see.

The China program has been a wonderful program in the past and any mention of the program closing leaves me with a heavy heart but for today I will not look too far into the future. Today, I have a shred of hope that I will hold onto for dear life because I've been in the dark for way too long.

Ahhh, parenthood

2007-04-26T13:09:00.000-02:30

Since "the hubby" and I have never been parents before (well, I guess the dogs don't count I suppose) I figure that by the time we get Jade there will be many different things that we'll be thankful for. Example number one Ray and I love eating out. When Jade comes I presume we'll be thankful that we are able just to sit down to eat. Plus, it will probably be nice to see food that does not resemble pureed, mashed or liquid that is not served in a bowl or a cup.

I love dressing up and wearing nice clothes. I assume when Jade arrives I'll just be thankful that I can find one decent clean clothing item; one that preferably does not have snot, drool, food , throw up or any other undesirable foul smelling liquid on it.

Which brings me to my worst downfall;

I love my little sporty car now as it serves my purpose and vanity just fine. I think I will feel a little bit of a loss when Jade comes and I have to trade it in for the dreaded mini van... but again, in the end I guess I will be thankful for that too.

I'm quite sure this list will expand when Jade comes but for now, I'll enjoy wearing my fancy booger-free clothes while riding in my snazzy sports car on my way to a fine dining establishment.

Ahh, the joys of parenthood await me but perhaps I can enjoy my precious vanity just a little while longer!

Update on China - Here we go again!

2007-04-25T14:27:00.001-02:30

Hi all,

First of all (I'll start with the good news), today marks our LID anniversary. We have been officially logged in the CCAA exactly 7 months waiting to be reviewed and matched. With this, I bring another update (otherwise known as the bad news). A while ago I posted that our wait time to referral would increase from 12 months to 16/18 months. We were contacted again and were told it would increase again to 24 months. Guess what? It looks as if we might be waiting even longer. They are now quoting 30 - 36 months from LID. The Rumor Queen ( anyone who has been following along so far knows about the RQ - She is THE lady who knows all when it come to the CCAA) just did a poll on her website concerning LIDS and she has determined that an individual with a LID of late September 2006 (us!) could possibly hope to receive a referral in either of the following months - notice the year; February 2009, May 2009, August 2009 or May 2010. Yup, I said 2010!! Of course these predictions depend on how fast/slow the CCAA is at clearing the backlog of files which currently stands at 25,000 - 30,000 (I hope that is not before our file! - they are currently matching October 2005) What I would like to know is what happened to 2008 for us receiving a referral? Our agency said we COULD get the referral in the fall of 2008 but the RQ says it won't happen. Just FYI, we haven't heard squat from our agency lately.

At this point I have more faith in the RQ's predictions then I do with our agency. All I can do now is to go on the hunt for chocolate, wine and comfy blanket and settle down for a LONG wait.

Reality Checks and Roller Coasters

2007-04-24T10:40:00.000-02:30

When I read my latest posts I'm finding that all they are is doom and gloom. I apologise to my avid followers for this and from now on I will try to get back to posting about all things Chinese and whatever else might peek my/your interest. However, I do have to keep you up to date on the adoption though and unfortunately there is rarely much good news to post on that front these days. You'll just have to ride out the rough times with me I suppose for y'all want to know what the heck is going on! So my best advise is to pick a seat, strap yourselves in and hang on because it's gonna be a twisted, bumpy never ending roller coaster ride folks.
Anyway, the rumblings have begun again about this month's referrals. When are they arriving, who knows? How many days will the CCAA have matched this month? Who the heck knows... (heck is my word for the day if you haven't already figured out) Most people in the "circle" are throwing about the #2. Yup, that's right, "THEY" say that the CCAA has had another bad month. So far, it has taken the CCAA four months to match up to the 26th of October. (Just FYI, in 2005 the CCAA was matching a month's worth of files per month. Now, it is taking them a full month just to match two days worth.) So, if it took the CCAA all of April to match October 27 and 28th that means it will take them ANOTHER 2 MONTHS TO FINISH OCTOBER!! (people I'm talking October 2005 here - see how much they are back logged? Our LID is September 25, 2006. A long way to go huh!)
Now granted, rule of thumb is that October and November of any year has always been heavy months in terms of the total number of files logged in so naturally, it would take longer to match. So, one would hope that once the CCAA finishes up with November the number of matches per month should increase.
Well folks, that's the rumor rumble for today and should anything change you know I'll post.

Imagine this....

2007-04-23T13:22:00.000-02:30

For those of you who are not adopting let's play a little game of sorts. I do believe this game of role playing will help you understand the emotions, frustrations and torment those who adopt feel. O.k., like I said, imagine you are me. Youv'e decided to adopt and have chosen China. You are all excited and are bursting to talk about it all the time. I mean excited! Any poor soul that stands still long enough is fair game. I mean so excited about your baby that you would even talk to a stump; you just don't care. Ahhh, but wait, you experience your first emotional crash when you get tangled up with Social Services. They try everything in the book to tempt you out of IA. You, being so excited, will not waiver from China. You've done all your research, have decided that yes, you understand there are risks, are willing to deal with development/attachment issues etc. and your heart is still with China. As this point you get through all of the seamingly endless paper chases, medical appointments, fingerprinting etc and have arrived at your final destination! Your precious file has been sent to China! You have your Log in date! All through the process thus far people are getting excited along with you - for its just like you are pregnant. You are expecting. Everyone gathers around and fusses. They want to buy baby clothes, toys, help pick out names and you get all caught up in it too. With your covenanted LID (log in date) all you have to do now is wait. Some of you forge ahead (even though your wise Social Worker advised against getting too caught up in it - for you never know what could happen - you nod in agreement pretending to understand but in your mind you quickly dismiss her caution) and busily begin 'nesting'. You pick a name, choose and decorate a nursery and fill the closet with pretty, frilly things. Now, all you have to do is wait. Then, emotional crash number two happens. Your agency contacts you to advise that the wait will be a little longer than expected. You are miffed at first but quickly analyse it, hear the parts that you only want and shrug it off. Another couple of months, not too bad you decide. It only means you have a little more time to get ready. In the meantime, people ask when is the baby coming? You respond, "oh, a little bit longer than expected." You are answered with looks of confusion and so begins the replies (which you will soon come to dread) "oh, what's taking so long?" You shrug that off too refusing to get caught up in the negative. You trudge on waiting, still feeling like you are pregnant but not quite as some of the excitment has disappeared. You feel little nagging voices of 'what if' in the back of your mind but you refuse to listen. Then times moves on, people around you begin to ask less and less. Others close to you become pregnant and have their babies. You are excited for them but the little nagging "what if's" and "how come it's taking so long" are presistant and harder to stifle. Times goes on and again your agency contacts you to advise that the wait will likely increase yet again. You can't silence the nagging voices anymore. No one asks at all anymore. Deep down you are heartbroken. You don't understand yourself why this is happening. You no longer feel pregnant. You look at the nursery and feel like crying. You decide that you will look at other options. You explore other countries and you experience the last true emotional crash. Your agency tells you that you are "not allowed" to proceed with an interim adoption while waiting for China. (Imagine for a minute if you and your husband had actually gone through this for 3 years. How would you feel?) I'll tell you how you would feel. You are crushed and angry for all you want is to start a family. Social Services, the CCAA (China) and now your agency all control when and if you get to start a family. You come to the realization that you have no control.
Yet, there is hope. You won't/refuse to give up. You have fought so long for this baby and you will not abandon her. You hang on for dear life.

These are some of the emotions that many, if not, all adopting couples have to work through. I personally listened to my wise social worker and did not buy any baby items nor did I decorate a nursery. I did not allow anyone else to buy baby items either. For me, it would have been too hard if something happened. I'm glad I listened. I hope this has helped you understand.

You know, I often lose patience (and those that know me know that I have no time for stupid idiotic unfeeling people/questions) and have to remind myself that not many individuals realize the depth/emotion this adoption process takes on us. So please, when you do meet someone that is going through the process show some compassion and understanding. It is NOT an easy way to have children as you can see.

Hoping for better days ahead people so lets keep those fingers crossed.

A few of my favorite things

2007-04-17T13:27:00.000-02:30

I've finally given up bashing poor old Mother Nature and realised that the delay of spring is just another thing that I needed to "wait" on. This of course got me to thinking. I decided that I had two options.

1. I could complain about the wait yet again but decided against it. Nope, gone are the days of the pity party for one. I decided that I use up way too much energy being grumpy about the 'wait'. You heard it here first folks "THAT WORD" will never be uttered from my cyber lips again. Frankly I'm tired and I'm getting fed up with myself moaning about THAT WORD. Somehow, I got whisked away from Delusion Island where it was all nice and warm. I'm sure THAT WORD did it to me! My friends, if you haven't already figured it out yet, to enter into this twisty turny world of adoption you need nerves of steele and the determination, drive and stubborness to match. You need to be Superman, only a woman! Gee, would that classify as Wonder Woman? Hmmmm... another post for another day perhaps.

OR

2. My mind wandered off to "things", and what do you sometimes do with things? Why, you put them on a list. So, in my attempt to become a positive, happy, contented individual during "THAT WORD" I decided to make a list of some of my favorite things.

I love chocolate (too much I'm afraid!), warm toasty fires, flannel pjs, dogs/puppies and wet sloppy puppy kisses. Which brings me to puppy breath and puppy yawns. I love books, onion rings, mysteries, movies, squeaky shoes ( Chinese baby shoes that have squeakers to help babies learn to walk), the first snow fall (Mother Nature, do you hear me?! I said the first not the 157th!), Christmas, growing things (plants, flowers, tomatoes - basically anything that's easy to grow that I can't kill), hearing the birds sing and cooking.

Most importantly, I cannot finish this list without adding my most favorite things in all the world. My dear family and friends that have shown and given so much support through "THAT WORD" so far. I have a deep love for China and Jade's birth mother. For without them we would not (eventually) have her. Lastly, "the hubby" for I couldn't do it without him. Who loves ya baby!

These, dear friends, are a few of my favorite things and I am grateful for each and every one of them.

Take care.

Excuse me Mother Nature but

2007-04-16T13:55:00.000-02:30

have you forgotten us? Yoohoo! I'm over here in case you've missed me - ummm, wait now, perhaps I'll rephrase that - in case you've missed Newfoundland entirely!! It certainly seems that way. You know, they say that spring has sprung, well, I don't know where it has sprung but its not here on the rock that's for sure. Perhaps Spring is not in the plans for good 'ole NL this year. That's it, Mother Nature, by the time she got all around the world sprouting spring she was just too tired. That has to be it, she was too sprung out. What other reason could it be? I guess the poor tuckered out old girl figured NL could wait a bit longer, afterall, we on the rock are used to hardship, waiting( won't expand on that subject in adoption terms), being last on everyone's list and 'sucky', nasty weather. Mirror mirror on the wall, what kind of weather will it be for the rock a'tal? Well, I see cold and wind and fog and rain but not sunshine or spring at all!

Thanks a bunch Mother Nature! Next time you are in town don't bother to call, we'll be too busy to talk because either;

1. won't be able to see you for all the fog
2. will be all froze to death from the cold
3. too busy shovelling out from under all the surprise snow you dumped on us for May 24th.

By the way, if you happen upon Mother Nature give her a boot (you know where!) and tell her to smarten up! NL does exist and we want Spring dang nabit!

Its getting hairy out there in the adoption world people!

2007-04-11T12:55:00.000-02:30

I don't know whats going on but the world as we know it in adoption circles is being turned upside down! O.k. lets do a recap as some of my loyal followers are not adopting.

The past couple of weeks I have seen, read or heard:

1. Japan has implemented "drop off hatches" for abandoned babies. Sounds horrible I know but it does make sense in a way. Some hospitals have put these outside their bldgs so that people can drop off their babies. It is in response to a high ratio of babies being abandoned in cars, parks, shops and even bicycle carts. This hatch is incubated and rigged so that when a baby is dropped off the alarm will sound to alert medical staff that they have a new arrival. They then retreive the baby, assess it, give it medical attention and then put it up for adoption. I wonder does that mean we will be able to adopt from there soon?

2. The CCAA is experiencing some kind of matching glitch (that's my spin on it)month to match 2 days worth of babies!? I don't even know what to think about that one so I'll just leave it be....

3. India is opening up to the western world for adoption. To date, to adopt from India you have to be of Indian decent. Thousand of babies are not being adopted and left in orphanages because of this. The Indian Government is looking to open the program to non Indians heavily recruiting in the US and Britain. I know for a fact that our agency is currently working with India for non Indians too. YAY for us! The Indian Govt. says that the adoption process will be MUCH shorter than China and that it will be open to singles. Great news all around I say!

4. Guatemala had its hands slapped. Govt. has been told to pull up its socks in terms or international adoption or they are going to shut it down. This does not apply to Canada as the program has been closed for years. Its a hard day when a country closes its doors to IA. Everyone loses but mostly the chldren.

5. Russia has stated that it will be closing its doors to USA agency facilitated adoption. There are reports of children being adopted in the past that have been abused, neglected and killed. This too is another sad day for everyone involved as I'm sure these cases of abuse etc. were few and far between. It does not affect Canada nor private USA adoptions.

All of this only reinforces that adopotion is not an easy road. Whoever said adoption was the easy way needs their head examined!

Take care everyone and lets all hope that the children affected in these changes are looked after to their best ability.

Little Ms. Brea

2007-04-09T14:33:00.000-02:30

A couple of posts ago I talked about Brea, who was having some heart trouble. For those of you who were wondering about her I'm happy to report that she has received her new heart and is coming along well. She celebrated being 22 months old with a new heart on April 5th. Yay Brea!

What a lovely idea

2007-04-09T12:34:00.000-02:30

In my rambling searches I came across a lady who, on every full moon lights a single candle for her baby's birth mother. What a nice tradition to incorportate into your baby's life when she arrives.

A hard day and some words of wisdom

2007-04-09T11:18:00.000-02:30

Today people is what I consider a hard day. I just heard rumblings from the adoption circles that the CCAA took ALL of March to match 2 days worth of files. In 2005 when "the hubby" and I started the process time to referral was 6-8 months and the CCAA was matching a month of files per month. Recently (for the last year to now) the CCAA has slowed the matching to 2 weeks of files per month. That being said, a month to match 2 days leaves many of us waiting with a huge lump in our throats. If it continues the wait may even become longer.

Now, I hate doom and gloom and try to avoid it if at all possible so naturally I looked for any shed of light I could find. This is what I what I have to say. Too many of us on this adoption journey get caught up in the negative. Our thoughts and conversations revolve around the shoulda, coulda, woulda and nevers. What we tend to forget is this... we started this process ( we managed to get though all the paperwork, medicals, home study etc and I'm quite sure more than just me muttered will this ever end!) and we will eventually get to China and have our babies. We need to live in the mean time. Why allow such negative thoughts and words to rob us of this experience? Don't worry about what lies ahead for that too will come in time and work itself out. Live your life today and enjoy every scrap of it. When you do get your baby (and you will) your life will change. Practice on yourself. I say this because when we finally do get Jade I know for a fact this little girl, if I can help it, will not know the word never. She will be positive, self assured and can't will never enter her vocabulary. Why, then, should we be ruled by it? These folks, are my words of wisdom for today.

Culture - A funny little thing

2007-04-02T19:46:00.001-02:30

I've always found culture and ritual fascinating. When I was contemplating a degree in Forensic Anthropology I loved all the Social Anthropology electives. I was mesmerized by the idea of how cultures can take the same thing and turn it into something completely different and unique to their own society. Wonder where I'm going with this? Well, there is a significant holiday that occurs during April in China; April 5th to be exact. This holiday is a perfect example of how China 'interprets' a familiar cultural aspect of life and makes it their own. I'm talking about their Ching Ming Festival. For those of you who are not familiar with this festival it revolves around ancestral veneration. Ahh, perhaps we will need a little background information so you can understand Ching Ming better.

O.k. throughout Chinese history family life encompassed elders ( elder generations were and still are the most important members of a family) and these elders received (and still do) great respect. In Chinese culture this elder respect continued even after the elder family members died. Now, its important to note that the Chinese do not distinguish a heaven and hell like we westerners do. The Chinese believe when you die you still exist and therefore still need food and they also believe that the living family members can communicate with the deceased elders or ancestors. Family members do this by way of Ancestral Veneration or Ancestor Worship (not worship as in God worship). They set out food for the ancestors who then eat the food's essence. The reason behind this veneration is to ensure the ancestors (elders) well-being and positive influence. Basically, it helps maintain the family bond; respect,loyalty, honor and keeps memories alive. They look after the ancestors and in return the ancestors look after them (something along the lines of acting as a guardian to help guide living members through their lives). With me so far? Good.

This brings me to Ching Ming which I think is wonderful. I love the whole idea of it and when Jade comes I think I might try to incorporate bits of it into her life.
Ching means pure and clean and Ming means brightness. When combined it means clean and just. Ching Ming was declared a National holiday in 732 A.D. during the Tang Dynasy and Ancestral Veneration is the only tradition unique to China. It is now often referred to as "Spring Remembrance".

What happens during Ching Ming? Well, basically, on this festival day, the Chinese visit the grave markers of their ancestors. It is a day that is totally devoted to ancestor veneration. During the day, family members clean the area(s) around the markers (spring cleaning you might say), add fresh flowers and provide food. Family members eat with the ancestors (a picnic of sorts - some scholars would argue with me over this as they say the food is not for a picnic but instead an offering to the ancestors. To me, its a picnic) There is a whole ritual that surrounds the food offerings (which I won't get into) and during this picnic they bring the ancestors up to date with the family news. Some families will also incorporate setting off firecrackers. The point of this is to scare off any evil spirits that may be lurking and to alert the ancestors of their (the living family's) presence. Some will offer the ancestors paper money and burn incense.

Isn't Ching Ming fascinating? Now, I know some of you think I've lost a brain cell or two by saying I love the idea of Ching Ming but just think about it for a minute. In Western society/culture we associate losing a family member with sorrow and pain. Once they pass on they are gone. Why is this? The Chinese "celebrate" (I'm not saying they don't mourn as they do) family. They believe their ancestors still exist you just can't see them. The ancestors are still "active" in the family's life but reside on a different plain.

See how culture blends itself to become unique within a society? Western society does have a Ching Ming of their own, after all how many times do you go down memory lane starting a conversation with a family member by saying "remember when Aunt so in so did...." but we just let too much sadness and sorrow get in the way. We need to learn, as a society and culture, to celebrate life and family more.

In conclusion, I like the idea of Ching Ming for a number of reasons. I want our bond with Jade to continue after "the hubby" and I are no longer here. I want her to celebrate our family and the memories that we made. I want her to talk to us and tell us what is going on in her life. I want her to continue to share with us. I don't want pain and sorrow to enter into it.

Hope and Faith - Sometimes that's all we have

2007-04-02T16:23:00.000-02:30

I confess, I've been following along with a particular adoption blog lately. It is a blog of a darling little baby by the name of Brea Wusterbarth. (Message to "the hubby" if you are starting to read this STOP! It will be too much for your soft heartedness to endure.) Little Brea came home to the USA in October 2006. Since being home she developed a cold which turned into a virus which eventually damaged her heart. She was hospitalized and it was determined that she would need a heart transplant. I don't think I can say anymore but I've included Brea's blog here www.babyjellybeans.com If you have some time I suggest that you follow Brea's journey from China to present day.

I have to admit that Brea's mother has been an inspiration to me and while I'm not a very religious person she has made me "think" quite often. Those on the adoption journey will agree that more often than not it is hope and faith that gets us through and in some cases it is all we have. We all need something to believe in.

Why the long wait?

2007-03-29T11:12:00.000-02:30

The 'hubby' was checking out the blog last night and brought it to my attention that I have not posted as much this month compared to last month. I think in a 'nice' way he was telling me to pull up my socks and get back to gabbing so I'm heeding his advice and it occurred to me that a lot of people don't understand why we are waiting so long. I say this because every time someone askes how's the adoption going we say "oh, we have to wait a bit longer" the response is always the same, "Whats taking so long?" Well, here's why.

The wait is so long due to a number of reasons.

One is due to the number of adoption files registered at the CCAA. Remember, China is the preference of the adoption community so there are millions of files being received and logged in EVERY DAY from ALL over the world so its not just the "hubby" and I. When these files are received at the CCAA they are grouped, colour coded and sit on a shelf waiting to be looked at. Basically we have to wait our turn.

Another reason contributing to the long wait is China's economic growth and the standard of living (in some provinces) has improved. This affects the adoption community in three major ways. The first is that people have more money so, if they have a second child, they now have an option, they can afford to pay the Govt fine imposed on them for having the second child. This brings me to the second reason. People abandon less babies so there are less in the orphanages which means a longer wait because there is a larger number of people wanting to adopt than there are babies to go around. The thrid reason for the long wait is that China has realised they will have an uneven gender population. Simply put, there will be a tonne of men but no women (They have all been adopted internationally) therefore the Chinese Govt. has begun an in-country incentive to promote adoption. The result, more Chinese people, because they have more money and want to have a child/children are adopting from their own orphanages therefore less babies available for international adopters. Mind you, I think this is wonderful because if there is a chance that a baby can be adopted into their own culture so be it.

As well, the wait is made that much longer because not all orphanages in China are registerd with the CCAA. The impression of the CCAA is that many of these unregistered orphanages do not want the hassle in filling out the paper work for the CCAA and would rather just leave the babies in the orphanages so they can secure Govt. subsidies as well as their jobs. There is much discussion on "paper-ready babies" lately and apparently the CCAA is currently actively pursuing these orphanages to sign up so that there will be more babies available. This would cut down on the long wait for international adopters.

For me, this last reason is a catch 22 of sorts. It is wonderful news that if these orphanages were to get on board with the CCAA more babies would find homes and the wait would possibly decrease. Now I could leave it at that but anyone who knows me, knows that I have to analyize it. I worry sometimes about this because the orphanages currently signed on with the CCAA have been for years. These orphanages and the babies that reside in them, through international adoption have benefited immenseley. Think about it, every single adoptive couple (and remember they are from all over the world) is required to make a 3,000.00 to 6,0000.00 donation to the orphanage they are adopting from. Now, out of this money the orphanage buys essentials (Fridges, walkers, food, toys, clothing, updated medical care,increases the nanny's pay, washers, dryers and even build new state of the art orphanages - you get the point) So, naturally every baby/child that comes from these orphanages is getting more and more on target developmentally, less health issues due to malnutrition etc. So, I can't help ponder over what the 'new paper ready babies' will be like. We, as adoptive parents will have to take on more responsibility. These babies will be weak, frail and probably sick, developmentally who knows what stage they will be at. (Now, before you get your knickers in a knot I'm not saying that all the babies coming from the familiar orphanages are picture perfect-some are'nt BUT there is a certain predictability on what to expect)The question for me is, do I want some sort of predictability and endure the LONG wait or do I want a speedy pickup and a child with more unpredictability referred to me?

So, now you know the reasons for why we have to wait.

I couldn't resist!

2007-03-28T15:34:00.000-02:30

The dog lover that I am just had to post this. Jade, Charlotte (our four year old Chocolate Lab) and Sophie (our 2 year old West Highland White Terrrier) are sending you kisses wherever you may be.

What do I say?

2007-03-24T13:39:00.001-02:30

Since the hubby and I have started the adoption journey I've been approached many times by parents on their way to China requesting a list of Chinese phrases to learn so they may "speak" to their precious gifts during their first minutes, hours and days together. Well, I've found a list of the most commonly used phrases and decided to post them here with a link (to hear the correct pronunciation). You'll also notice that there are numbers after each word. These numbers tell you which tone the word is to be spoken in. I suggest you click on the link to see if you can here the tones. Practice and enjoy!

1. You are beautiful - Ni3 zhen1 piao4 liang.
2. You are safe with us - He2 wo3 men zai4 yi4 qi3, hen3 an1 quan2.
3. We are your forever family now - Jin1 hou4, wo3 men jiu4 shi4 ni3 yong3 yuan3 de jia1.
4. Do you want water - Ni3 he1 shui3 ma?
5. Are you thirsty - Ni3 ke3 ma?
6. Are you tired - Ni3 lei4 ma?
7. Do you want to eat - Ni3 xiang3 chi1 dong1 xi ma?
8. Does it hurt - Teng2 ma?
9. Are you hungry - Ni3 e4 ma?
10. Be good! - Guai1 yi4 dianr3!
11. Cheer up - Gao1 xing4 yi4 dianr3.
12. Come over - Lai2!
13. Come to Mom - Dao4 Ma1 Ma zhe4 lai2.
14. Father (Dad)- Ba4 ba
15. Give me the toy - Ba3 wan2 ju4 gei3 wo3.
16. Go potty? (pee, to a small child)- Yao4 niao4 ma?
17. Go potty? (poo, to a small child) - Yao4 la1 ma?
18. Go to Dad - Zhao3 Ba4 Ba qu4!
19. Good boy (girl)!- Ni3 zhen1 guai1!
20. Grandma / Grandmother (dad's mother)- Nai3 Nai3
21. Grandma / Grandmother (mom's mother, northern Chinese vernacular)- Lao3 Lao
22. Grandma / Grandmother (mom's mother, southern Chinese vernacular)- Wai4 Po2
23. Grandpa / Grandfather (dad's dad)- Ye2 Ye
24. Grandpa / Grandfather (mom's dad, southern Chinese vernacular)- Wai4 Gong1
25. Honey - Bao3 bao.
26. I love you - Wo3 ai4 ni3
27. I will come back for you (or I will be back later.) - Wo3 yi4 huir3 jiu4 hui2 lai2.
28. It's OK - Bu2 yao4 jin3 Or Mei2 guan1xi.
29. It's dinner time - Gai1 chi1 fan4 le
30. It's time for bed - Gai1 shui4 jiao4 le.
31. Let's go - Zan2 men zou3 ba Or simply Zou3 ba.
32. Let me pick you up. (Or Pick up)- Rang4 wo3 bao4 bao ni3 Or Bao4 bao.
33. Let's read a book - Zan2 men nian4 shu1 ba
34. Mother (Mom)- Ma1 ma
35. No more crying - Ni3 bie2 ku1 le.
36. No. (not to permit)- Bu4 xing2.
37. No. (to negate)- Bu2 shi4.
38. Pick up the toy - Ba3 wan2 ju4 jian3 qi3 lai2.
39. Put away the toy(s). It's time to eat - Ba3 wan2 ju4 fang4 xia4. Gai1 chi1 fan4 le.
40. Put the toy(s) there - Ba3 wan2 ju4 fang4 zai4 nar4.
41. This is your dad - Zhe4 shi4 ni3 de ba4 ba.
42. Want to go to the bathroom (to an older child)- Xiang2 qu4 ce4 suo3 ma?
43. What do you want to eat - Xiang3 chi1 shen2 me?
44. Teddy Bear - Xiao3 xiong2
45. Yes! (to permit)- Xing2.
46. Yes. (to affirm)- Shi4 (de).

Here is the link to learn the above phrases. http://www.wku.edu/~yuanh/AudioChinese/parent.html

Pre-Referral Illnesses

2007-03-22T09:08:00.000-02:30

I found this absolutely hysterical! I read it on the Rumor Queen site and just had to post it.

Symptoms those in the "referral holding pattern" are prone to;

1. CSA - Chair shaped arse - resulting from an inability to move away from the computer - even when sleeping

2. HPO - Hideous Pimple Outbreaks - from excessive quantites of chocolate inhaled at 1/2 hour intervals due to raw nerves

3. APB - Allocation Pattern baldness - from the relentless removal of head hair from the root

4. Bleeding from the ears - From a tendency to repeatedly place fingers in the ears while shouting "la,la,la, I can't hear you" whenever your wait to referral increases

5. PBS - Plump Blimpie Syndrome - the result of #1 and #2 combined

6. RCS - Roller Coaster Stomach - no explaination needed!

The only known cure for these symptoms is a couple of tylenol (or a bottle of wine, your choice) and a referral!

The man behind the name

2007-03-15T11:45:00.001-02:30

Since Saint Patrick's Day is fast approaching I thought it would be nice to talk a little about the man, Saint Patrick himself. I've noticed over the past few years this holiday has become increasingly more popular and it got my little brain started (when my brain kicks in there's no stopping it). Once I craned my neck to see past all the hoopla of green hats, pots of gold, shamrocks and green beer (thank God that one only surfaces once a year!) I realised that I didn't know much about the man himself. Well, that's not entirely true, I know all about how he suspposedly chased all the snakes from Ireland, but beyond that I knew nada. Horrible isn't it. ('m not Catholic and not very religious - I know there are tonnes of people out there who could tell me all about him, but come on, cut me a little slack and humor me) Added to this, I've come, embarrassingly enough, to associate Saint Patrick with those little jolly Leprechauns (damn that commercialised retail society we live in!). So, with an itch that needed scratching I set out on yet another research mission to find out who the heck the man behind the name really was.

Who was Saint Patrick? Well, sit down and let me tell you...

He is the patron Saint of Ireland and one of Christianity's most widley known figures yet he and his life remains somewhat of a mystery. His is a life that has been abound with numerous stories, one of which being the famous casting out of all the snakes in Ireland (which has been proven false by the way). But, who was he?

He was born in Britain to a wealthy family during the 4th Century. Surprisingly enough, his family was not a very religious one. When he turned 16 years old he was captured on his family estate by Irish raiders. These Irish bandits brought Patrick to Ireland where they kept him prisioner for 6 years and it was during this captivity that he looked to religion for comfort. While in captivity he also had a dream. In this dream he believed God spoke to him telling him to escape. He listened and escaped fleeing to Britain. Once there, he experienced another dream, this time it was an angel that appeared. The angel wanted him to return to Ireland and preach. He followed the angel's advice and returned to Ireland with the intension of becoming a Missionary. During his time spent in Ireland he noticed that much of the religion practiced in Ireland was pagan based (even the Christians) and he decided to incorporate these traditional Irish rituals into his Christian preachings. The best example of this is the "Celtic Cross". Patrick had the Sun (an extremely imprortant Celtic symbol) fused on to the Christian Cross and it is still widely recognised today. He also decided to intermix Irish lore and culture in his Christian teachings as well and this may be why there are so many stories surrounding the life of St. Patrick now. Lastly, it is believed that he died on March 17.

That is what I've found. Does it answer my question of who was Saint Patrick? Well, it's a start. Perhaps I'll plan a trip to Ireland and see what else I can dig up. Interestingly enough, I was in Britain a couple of years ago and not once did I hear or see anything that was linked to Saint Patrick but for now, my brain is statisfied with this little peek into his life so I shall leave it alone.

On Saint Patrick's Day, when you have your green beer in hand and you raise your glass to give a "Slainte" (a toast) perhaps you'll remember my little post and choose to say one of these little ditties;

1. May God bring good health to your enemies enemies.
2. May you live to be a 100 years, with one extra year to repent
3. May you be in heaven one half hour before the Devil knows your'e dead
AND my personal favorite;
4. Here's to you
Here's to me
The best of friends we'll always be
But if we ever disagree
Forget you here's to ME!

Happy Saint Patrick's Day everyone!

A beautiful name for a beautiful baby wherever she may be

2007-03-12T15:32:00.000-02:30

I just came across the meaning of the name Jade. (The Chinese character and pinyin for Jade is found on the blog on the right hand side) The meaning of Jade connotes honor and conviction - also beauty, grace and purity; often shows the love felt for the person named. Everything I hope my daugter grows up to be; A perfect name.

Look who's talking!

2007-03-08T13:11:00.000-03:30

Recently I've noticed much commotion on a hot topic called "Signing". I don't know if this is new or if it has been around for a while and has now just become mainstream. I admit the idea of talking to Jade before she can speak has me intrigued. Hey, anything that keeps the tantrums and frustration to a minimum is a BIG bonus to me and God knows we'll have enough to deal with when we come home. I also thought that it would be worthwhile to post about this for those mommies that will return from China with a toddler who can speak Mandarin but Mommy can't - yikes!! (Do you hear me Carolyn?!) Some of you may be familiar with this concept so if you are and you know some good books or just want to give me your opinion please comment.

I've been reading up on the subject and here is what I've learned so far;

The crux of signing is communication (I know you've already figured that one out!). Through signing you will be able to figure out what she wants, needs, sees and even remembers. Babies develop their body muscles LONG before they can speak and they LOVE to mimic so doesn't it make sense to avail of this "communication"? I also look at it as a great way to further that bonding and attachment.
Perhaps this should be included in the PRIDE discussions.... hmm.. if I ever get a chance to serve on one of those panels......

So far so good, now, how and where would I start? I read some more and learned that it was easy; all you needed to do was begin with the basics. The basic signs revolve around 'needs' (makes sense doesn't it) so you have a sign for milk, eat, drink, more, hot, cold, diaper (I guess that means she'll tell you she needs a new one), help, sleep, Mommy and Daddy. (one sign we've all been taught is to wave bye-bye - see you can do it!)

Start with one sign and show them the sign during the activity, for example feeding time. You then continue to use the sign before and after the activity and continue to show the baby the sign every time the activity is repeated. The key, is repetition and consistancy. Remember that they are babies and some will grasp the concept much quicker than others. It is important that when they do get the hang of it to be outwardly excited and full of praise.

As you and the baby become comfortable you'll add more signs thus increasing vocabulary, bonding and communication. (I would continue to use the signs until Jade could talk).

I'm going to research this further and see if I can come up with some books etc. so I'll post what I find.

My Sanity and Control have returned but a slave no more will I be.. (I think)

2007-03-07T13:07:00.000-03:30

for a while anyway. The CCAA has decided to keep the public date box viewable for a little while longer. That being said I've decided not to pay any more attention to the CCAA or Rumor Queen. From now on I will not horde away feverantly crunching numbers trying to estimate TOA (time of arrival) for Jade's referral. Simply put, I will chaulk it up to the fact that Jade is not ready for us yet and when she is she'll let us know. If it happens that she is ready for us and I don't have a single hair left on my head, no teeth and need a walker (at the slugs pace that the CCAA is working lately that is how long it will take) then that's when I'll deal with it. I'm tired of being a slave to the numbers. I think I will lounge in a state of delusion - I hear its quite lovely there. Don't worry avid fans, I'll still find the time to blog! Well, I'm off to pack my bags for delusion island and I'll write soon. Now, where did I put that sunblock..hmmmm

International Working Women's Day in China

2007-03-06T13:27:00.000-03:30

For those of you who don't know, Thursday, March 8 is International Working Women's Day in China. Some of you may have heard that in China there is a holiday in March well this is it. On this day women employees get either a half or full day off from work (paid) and apparently it is popular to give women heart shaped roses called soap roses. (the picture above shows a young lady with them)

I wonder how far China has come in terms of feminism and women's rights? Speaking of rights, if I can find my notes I'll post about divorce in traditional China. Its unbelievable the grounds for which a man could divorce.

Anyway ladies, enjoy the 8th and as a collegue of of mine used to say "You go, girl!" so give yourself a well deserved pat on the back for how far we have come and what we have achieved.

Perhaps you just 'might' find some soap roses waiting for you too! (with a little gentle prodding of the hubby of course!)

Hey! Who turned out the lights?!

2007-03-05T11:54:00.000-03:30

I can't see! Come on, turn them back on! Please, pretty please?

Wondering what I'm ranting about? Well, as you know I've been following the CCAA website very closely this month. For anyone who is not familiar with the CCAA site there is a information box on their homepage which tells what date they have matched to and what date they have reviewed to. This little box is extremely important as it allows you to follow your file. Every month the CCAA updates this box when they send out the new referrals. I have come to call this little date box my 'sanity' box. Its where all my hopes and prayers are kept and it is the only thing that helps keep my sanity. That is, until now.....

According to the Rumor Queen (RQ) site, from now on my 'sanity box' will be no more. The Rumor Queen said that the CCAA has implemented a new policy whereby only agencies will be privy to the date information. These agencies will have a login code and will be the only ones who can access this information. The CCAA will not be updating the date box for the general public to view.

Now, what do you think the odds are that the agencies will be releasing the date information to waiting families, and, if they do, who is to say that you will be receiving the correct date information? I say this because my agency sent out a memo last week stating that they received word from the CCAA that matching had not begun, yet, on the Rumor Queen site referrals were mailed out and some countries were receiving them as of today. They (RQ) are saying that in this little private box the CCAA is stating that they have have matched files with a LID up to October 24, 2005.

I really don't like this. I mean come on, how am I supposed to know what stage our file is at and if it is out of the dreaded review room? By taking away my sanity box I've lost my deluded perception of having some sort of control. Do I have to lose this too? I'm a control freak for those that don't know me and as far as I'm concerned I have had no real control since I started this adoption. I've only pretended I've had it...

I was never afraid of the dark before but I am now. Jade, where are you? I can't see, its too dark! Can someone turn the lights back on and give me a shred of control? No answer huh...

Sitting, waiting and fretting in the dark...

CBC

2007-03-01T16:45:00.000-03:30

Please do watch the CBC supper newshour next Monday. They will be airing part 1 of a story about a NL family that just left for China to bring home their baby. The 2nd part will air after they return from China on March 16.
so again, please tune in to the CBC newshour on Monday, March 5th.

Whispers and Murmurs...

2007-02-28T13:26:00.000-03:30

All around the world the earth is starting to rumble. At this point it is just mere whispers and murmurs but hopefully by the end of the week we'll have a full blown explosion of referrals. I'm really following this batch closely because it will give me some sort of idea where we will fall with our referral and this should be a big batch of referrals.
People lets keep our fingers crossed for a huge batch of referrals this month!

I'll post the stats when they are released.

A week in review

2007-02-27T13:26:00.000-03:30

Since I've been sick a few things have happened in the adoption circle that I thought I would bring you up to date on.

Deb and Kirk have arrived home safe and sound with Olivia (you can check out their website on my blog under the website section and it is called Olivia's blog), friends of ours have finally adopted their foster son (yay Heather and Fred!) and are continuing to plod along with their Russian adoption. (guys, the hubby and I are keeping our fingers crossed for you that your referral comes soon!) and another mom in waiting has just recieved her precious son's referral. He is 2 years old and from the WCP in China (waiting children's program). They have decided to name him Daniel and they are now waiting for their travel approval to come (travel time should be around the summer). He is such a handsome little man too! You can see Daniel under my website section and it is called Daniel's blog.

Finally, 5 families have just left for China to pick up their babies. They are all from the same orphange and are quite young. Their gotcha day will be on Monday so check out the link I have under my website section called Maggie's blog. There will be a CBC interview about it sometime around March 16 so keep an eye out for that too.

Well, that's my week in review for baby news.

Round n Round it goes, Where it stops no one knows...

2007-02-26T10:58:00.000-03:30

Well, I'm finally back on the mend after a horrible week of the flu. You know, I never really knew just how many avid readers I have collected with my blog. Glad you decided to join me and please keep reading!

Back to my title for today's post. I thought it was fitting as this past Sunday, February 25th was 5 months since we have been logged in. Now the question is, will it be 18 months till referral as I had predicted or 24 months as our agency has said. I've decided that I'm still going to work with the 18 month prediction. The hubby and I discussed it over the weekend and when we retraced our adoption steps we noticed a pattern of sorts. We first decided that we would register to adopt domestically. We were told that we would be placed on a wait list for 10 years. Yikes! Then, we decided to adopt internationally and again, we were told we would be in for a LONG wait of at least a year to begin Pride. The actual wait to complete Pride for us came down to 4 months. The process could not be straight forward for us - nope, we decided to build a house and put the paper chase off for about a year and when we decided to pick it up again this past summer we were told that with vacations etc. it would take till at least November before our file would finally be sent to China and logged in either Dec '06 or Jan'07. What happened? Yup, our file was sent and logged in on Sept. 25, 2006.

Now, as I've said before my mind is a calculating mind. I believe that things tend to fall out of the sky for me when I least expect it and that being the case I have this gut feeling that 18 months is more probable than 24. Perhaps its just my stubborn streak refusing to give into the horrid idea that the adoption agency may be right over me. Plus, it is the year of the Pig and I am a Pig so this is MY year - 18 months it shall be then. (My, oh my, won't people be laughing if it turns out to be 24 months!) Bottom line, round -n- round it (the CCAA) goes, where it stops no one knows.... 18 or 24, what shall it be?

Hmmm, I wonder, is it possible to go around for a year with eyes, toes, fingers and anything else crossed without inflicting any kind of long lasting medical condition upon oneself?

Golden Lotuses

2007-02-17T16:20:00.000-03:30

Its really funny how my mind works. I was TOTALLY bummed this Friday past with the news of the longer wait time before referral and by late Friday night my mind started to wander. Association can be an interesting thing. My mind wandered from can't go to not being able to travel to feet... of course, my love of all things Chinese kicked in and the next thing I know I'm thinking about history and foot binding. The associations make sense right? I'm stuck, can't travel to get Jade therefore I'm bound here in good ole NL for longer than expected. So I thought why not- blog time again. This practice has always fascinated me so settle in for a discussion on the ancient tradition of foot binding. All I ask is that you try to remove yourself from the "Western" perspective and examine it in Chinese terms. ( I've included two pictures but you need to click on the picture of the girl to really see her feet. Those 'little' shoes are amazing aren't they!)

Foot binding was an ancient Chinese custom of beauty and torture. It was passed from mother to daughter and from generation to generation. It was achieved by bending a young girl's (usually when she reached the age of 5 or 6) toes so that they pointed inward eventually breaking the arch of the foot and the whole process took two years to complete. They often began the binding in the fall as they believed that the cold weather would numb the pain. They would begin by soaking the feet in hot water to soften the skin, the feet were massaged and then bound with strips of cotton cloth two inches wide and ten feet long. They left the big toe alone and exposed for it was needed for balance. When they finished binding the feet the rest of the cotton strips were tied and she was forced to walk which quickly broke the arch of the feet. At the end of two years the girl was unable to walk without assistance.

The tradition began in the mid 10th century in the royal palaces of the Tang dynasty and ended during the 17th century when the practice spread to the lower class.The Chinese believed that the best shaped feet were tiny. The perfect foot could be no more than three inches long. The tiny feet were called 'golden lotuses'. If a girl's feet were more than 3 inches long she would be viewed as undesirable and un-marriageable ( it was said if a girl did not have bound feet she was more of a man than a woman and bound feet brought with it a MUCH higher bride price). A man's status was linked to his wife's bound feet. It meant he was wealthy enough to support an idle woman. Women in those days had to work in the fields and those who had their feet bound couldn't, they stayed home and 'lounged'- this was a symbol of wealth. Unbound feet began to be associated with lower class and rough work.
Many families bound their daughter's feet to show that they had a good reputation.
Men believed if they had a wife with bound feet it meant she was incapable of cheating on him or leave the marriage. Men thought that bound feet enabled a woman to walk like a flower blowing gently in a breeze making them graceful, erotic, sensual and respectful.

So, to sum it up, bound feet and the young age of the girls made them very desirable. They brought in a high bride price and were married off young. Men found bound feet highly sensual and that believed she would be faithful to the marriage.

Finally, during the Qing dynasty uprisings against the foot bindings began. The ruling family didn't believe in binding and called to have it abolished. Missionaries who entered China at the end of the Opium Wars saw the deformed feet and called it torture. Binding went from a symbol of beauty to a symbol of oppression and barbaric.
Foot binding had lasted 1,000 years before the Republic of China officially outlawed it.

Beauty or torture? I guess it all depends on which side of the fence you are standing on.

What the!

2007-02-16T13:38:00.000-03:30

I just received a newsletter from our agency informing us that the wait time till referral has gone up YET AGAIN!!. We were logged in on September 25, 2006. We were told then that our referral would come approximately 16 months later which would have been December 2007 or January 2008 travel to follow shortly after.

Well, not any more! We have been told to expect AT LEAST a wait time of 24 months. I thought we finally got to countdown not up! This 24 month wait means we MIGHT get a referral in September 2008 and travel in October/November of 2008. Good Grief Charlie Brown!

That being said I guess it is really out of our hands and we just have to sit and wait some more.

I don't think I have anything else to say at this point, my 'faces' say it all.

Questions and more Questions

2007-02-16T12:27:00.000-03:30

I've decided that since I'll be;

1. over the moon completely when I finally reach 'gotcha day' and

2. Won't have a singe coherent thought in my brain

I'll post a list of questions to ask the Orphanage people now. (that is, assuming I'll GET to ask anyone questions) It will also be a huge part of Jade's early life story to have even if some of them are not answered.

Anyone who would like to use the list for their own, go for it as you, too, will probably be over to moon and thoughtless during your 'gotcha day'. I found this on the Rumor Queen site (I think.... I read way too much!) and I felt they were relevant.

1. Where/how was she found and on what date?
2. Who found her?
3. How do you know her age?
4. Was there a note or any other mementos found with her?
5. Who chose her name and why? Does it have any special meaning?
6. Is there a nickname you call her?
7. How was her health the first year?
8. Any prior illnesses, accidents or injuries? If so, what was the treatment. (good question to get an answer - wonder could we get the answer in writing for medical purposes back home?)
9. Does she have any known allergies?
10. Has she had immunizations?
11. What kind of food is she eating now? How much? When?
12. What are her sleeping habits - how much does she sleep and when? Does she sleep on her tummy or back?
13. Does she have any dislikes,likes, sensitivities?
14. What is her personality like? What makes her happy?
15. What makes her angry/upset?
16. How can I calm/soothe her when she cries?
17. Was there a particular person she was attached to?
18. Was there one person who took care of her at the ophanage or many? Did she go home with someone at night or sleep at the orphanage?
19. Does she drink from a bottle or a cup?

Now I know some of these questions will be answered when we receive her profile but it never hurts to ask them again in person. You never know what answer you'll get or what other information it might lead to.

Foster Care or Orphanage Care and Emotions

2007-02-13T13:46:00.000-03:30

what shall it be for Jade and what may Ray and I be faced with in terms of grieving and emotions? This topic has had me wracking my brain for months and I've researched it endlessly.

I've come to learn that the babies can be grouped into two categories;
the first are those that have received orphanage care only. They will be the babies come 'gotcha day' that remind me of a deer caught in headlights. They will show little or no reaction when placed in the arms of a stranger (terrible I know but that's what we are to them). They will often stare, are quiet and in shock. The second category will be those babies that have been in foster care. They will be the ones howling their heads off; screaming and flailing their little bodies around trying to find their caregivers. They are the ones that learned early on through foster care that crying will have their needs met and if they cry long and hard enough their caregivers will come and take them away from the strange smelling/sounding people and back to the comfort they have come to know.The orphanage babies on the other hand have learned that crying is useless as no one comes to sooth them.

Then guilt can enter the equation. I've often wondered how many parents have felt this. When they have a screaming or delayed baby (by delayed I'm referring to the orphanage babies - no outward emotion - not delayed as in there is something wrong with them) in their arms for the first time do they feel a little guilty or apprehensive. I understand that parents have been waiting with anticipation for up to 3 years or more but when you are faced with a baby's tear streaked face, little grief wracked body and questioning eyes, longing for their life as they have grown to know it, wouldn't you, even just a little, question whether or not you were doing the right thing - after all, you may have been waiting for this baby for three years but the baby hasn't been waiting for you. I've been wondering about this as I've read posts where parents are actually dreading 'gotcha day' often expressing their hidden anxiety over taking the babies away from all that they have ever known.

When I dig a little deeper I come to the conclusion that perhaps it really isn't anxiety and guilt as much as it is nerves. Lets look at it for a minute. Everyone, no matter where they live in this world, pretty much goes through the same steps when they adopt, give or take a few added bumps in the road along the way. You decide to adopt, contact the appropriate persons, begin the home study (suffer though it), the paper chase, the approval, translations and finally the file is off to China. Then you wait. You wait for the DTC date(for those of you who are not familiar with China lingo DTC means document to China), then you wait for the LID date (again, China lingo for Log in date). THEN, when you Think you can finally stop holding your breath and breathe again the the first time in about a year you realize you are not out of the woods yet. You now need to watch the CCAA (China Center of Adoption Affairs) website daily for the "The CCAA has finished the review of the adoption application documents registered with our office before...) Those of you not familiar with the CCAA what I'm referring to here is the CCAA has logged in your file but now someone needs to review it with a fine tooth comb to make sure all is peachy keen with them. They may not pass your file though to the matching stage if they have questions and would like more detailed information e.g doctor's note concerning a medical condition etc. All of this and you still have not been "matched". Who in their right mind would not be a basket of nerves by now? O.K, let's move on and say our file has passed the inspection phase and is now in the matching room. What happens next? You guessed it! We wait again. Add to this, financial issues, the hope that nothing changes in your health and wondering what the baby will look like, will she/he be healthy, is she/he being loved, what kind of conditions are they living in, are people being kind to them etc - you get my point.

Finally, the day of all days actually arrives and you are staring at the precious picture you've been waiting to see for YEARS. What happens now is a whirlwind of activity. Rush to the doctor to make sure all is well, contact the agency to let them know you accept the baby, tell family and friends, get the nursery ready (if you haven't already), shop till you drop, pack, re pack, wait again, this time for travel approval and most of all secretly worry -about what- everything.

You know, I've heard people say that everything falls into place when you get that picture but it makes me wonder. To me, I look at it as just another chapter. The waiting and anxiety still continues. It continues when you get on the plane, arrive in China and seems to explode in the hours, minutes and seconds before the 'gotcha moment'. I really don't think that deep down people are questioning whether or not they are doing the right thing. When you first contact the adoption agency you've already made up your mind that it IS the right thing for you. I think every little step in the adoption journey builds up inside of us and when you finally reach the gotcha moment you let it all out and sometimes people confuse this 'emotion' with anxiety or grief/guilt. (I'm not saying ALL people experience this but from my readings it does happen and seems to be more common than I ever would have thought)

What does the road ahead hold for Jade and us, who knows, but I do know I will be uptight, anxious and even a little scared BUT I will NEVER question whether or not I'm doing the right thing - I know I am, how about you?

Chinese Military History

2007-02-12T13:17:00.000-03:30

O.k.I guess by now you've noticed that my blog is not the typical adoption blog that you often see. (I have to say this blogging thing is great!) I am a history buff or nut (I'm a History major specializing in German History and the Holocaust - but that's another blog one day perhaps)and I love all things Chinese. So, that being the case I feel I've been let loose with this blog.
Since my husband has complained that I have gotten carried away in writing some of my earlier posts I've decided to just list some adult books on Chinese Military (history) that you may find interesting. So, if you do find that you would like to do some reading on Military topics how about getting your hands on one or more of the following:

Modern Chinese Warfare,1795 - 1989 (Bruce Ellerman)
China at War,1901-1949 (Edward Dreyer)
Soldiers of the Dragon: Chinese Armies 1500BC-ad 1840(C.J.Peers)
This auther also wrote Late Imperial Chinese Armies 1520-1840 AND Ancient Chinese Armies 1500-200BC
Code Name Kindred Spirit: Inside the Chinese Nuclear Espionage Scandal (Notra Trulock)
A Military History of China (David Andrew Graff)
Ancient China and its Enemies: The rise of Nomadic Power in East Asian History (Nicola Di Cosmo)
Overall Chinese history book entiteld "China: A New History" (John King Fairbank)
Colonel C.L. Chennault and Flying Tigers (book on how Claire Chennault helped China in the war against Japan.)
Fire and Water: the Art of Incendiary and Aquatic Warfare in China (Ralph Sawyer)
Rescuing the Doolittle Team
The Fall of Hong Kong: Britain, China and the Japanese Occupation (Philip Snow)
When China Ruled the Seas: The Treasure Fleet of the Dragon Throne 1405-1433 (Lousie Levathes)
The Great Wall of China 221 BC-1644AD (Stephen Turnbull)

Books

2007-02-12T08:50:00.001-03:30

I've decided to add Chapter's to my list of web links thanks to a comment made on my Inventions post. For anyone who believes their children might be interested in leaning more about Chinese inventions there is a really cool children's book called "Miss Frizzle's Imperial China" available at Chapers. (I have it on very good authority that kids will love it). Thanks Kim!

There are many children's books on the topic of Chinese New Year. Some of them that you might like to check out are;

"The Year of the Pig: Tales from the Chinese Zodiac"
"My first Chinese New Year"
"Lanterns and Firecrackers: A Chinese New Year Story"
"Happy Happy Chinese New Year" and,
for ages 4 -6 "The Chinese New Year Mystery".

Heartwarming and a little sad

2007-02-09T09:49:00.000-03:30

Hi everyone,

This will be a very short post and really not from me. I just finished reading Deb's post from her day in China yesterday. I suggest anyone who has a minute should read it too. It tells of the mixed emotions new parents often face when visiting their baby's orphanage in China which can be very heartwarming and sad at the same time. There are some lovely pictures attached to her post as well. You can read Deb's post by clicking on my link called Olivia's blog near the bottom right hand side of Jade's blog.

Wendy

Did you know?

2007-02-08T13:37:00.000-03:30

I've decided to post about inventions, yes that's right, how many of you knew that some of the greatest inventions came from China? To confess I really didn't know any of these either until I took a Chinese culture class at MUN with the lovely Dr. Rainey. I was astounded at some of them, I really thought they were invented by the Egyptians, Romans, Greeks or British - who knew? Of course, this post is for Jade but I'm also going to dedicate it to my husband Ray too.

We all know fireworks were invented by the Chinese but did you know that the wheelbarrow was too? It was invented during the 1st century BCE and it was originally made out of wood.It was called the wooden ox. (I bet the Hebrew slaves wished they had the wheelbarrows when they were building the Pyramids. Would have saved a good many backs!) Wheelbarrows never surfaced in Europe until the 11th or 12th century. The Chinese also invented the compass which was made out of wood and had a piece of ore moulded into a spoonlike shape. It was first used in terms of harmony, making sure that man made objects and nature were in tune and later they used it as a navigational tool for Chinese ships.

The Chinese invented the first earthquake machine. (I've included a picture of it at the beginning of this blog) It is now known as a Seismograph. It was a vessel shaped jar with 8 dragon heads protruding from all different directions. Each dragon had an open mouth which contained a ball. Under each dragon head there was an open mouthed toad and depending on which dragon head vibrated and dropped its ball into the toad's mouth, the Chinese could tell from which direction an earthqueske was occuring. Modern seismographs never surfaced elsewhere in the world until 1848.

They invented gunpowder as well. This was by accident as the Chinese Emperors were obsessed with achieving eternal life. They would hire alchemists to find the elixor that they could swallow therefore living forever. These alchemists would combine many different chemicals and one combination they happened to create was explosive. They decided to put this mixture in bamboo tubes and the gases the mixture emitted made the bamboo tubes fire; gunpowder was born.

This gunpowder led to many more inventions, one being the cannon, which was made out of iron and it fired the gunpowder filled bamboo. Another invention was what they called shooting flaming arrows. The Chinese strapped the bamboo filled tubes to arrows and lit them, hence the name flaming rockets/arrows. There is also folklore that surronds the gunpowdered flaming rockets. It is beleived a man decided he wanted another mode of transportation and upon seeing these flaming rockets decided to strap a bunch of them to a bamboo chair. He then created a top to go over the chair. He sat in the chair and had people light the rockets. The result was that the chair and the man were blown to bits. (I never said it had a happy ending!) hmmmm, I wonder was that a first introduction to air planes?

Speaking of air travel and airplanes did you know that the Chinese invented the first helicopter rotor and blade? No, neither did I. During the 4th century they invented this as a toy. It had a top on it that served as an axis and a cord was tied around it. There were blades sticking out at different angles. When the cord was pulled this toy would launch into the air and fly. It was called a bamboo dragonfly and today's helicopters are modelled after this toy.

China is responsible for a whole bunch of other inventions as well. They invented kites, which were made out of square pieces of silk and fastened to bamboo sticks (the first kites of Europe were seen in 1589). They were the first to harness their animals and made plowing equipment out of iron for agricultural purposes. They made the first waterproof boats and the first steering rudders. They developed a counting abacus, paper money first surfaced in China during in the 9th-10th century. (In Europe paper money was not introduced until 1661), acupuncture and anaesthetics were made from wine for health purposes and they introduced many herbal remedies/medicines.

The Chinese invented the first printing press as well as paper making and writing. The oldest piece of paper was found in a tomb near X'ian and dates between 140 and 87 BCE. They were the first to have books and even had bookshops during the Tang dynasty. The Chinese created the first planetarium. The viewer would sit in a chair that hung from the ceiling of the building. They invented the decimal system in 14 century and made matches from sticks of wood with blobs of sulfur on the ends.

A few last interesting points that I bet you didn't know. The Chinese created their war armour out of thickened paper, were the first civilization to perform skull surgery and they invented chess.

too cool huh! Now you know...

Chinese New Year

2007-02-05T19:35:00.000-03:30

Well, February 18, 2007 will officially ring in the year of the Pig. This is especially exciting for me as I, according to the Chinese zodiac, fall in the Pig category. (I'll provide a link of the Chinese zodiac at the bottom right hand side of Jade's blog in the website section so you too can find out what animal you are). I do believe it is the first time I have ever been linked to a pig - I guess it could be worse. Anyway, I've decided to discuss Chinese New Year for Jade so take a seat and enjoy. Perhaps at the end of this post you'll find that you are intrigued by the Chinese New Year and even decide to practice in some of the rituals that surround it even just for fun.

Chinese New Year is also called the Spring Festival or the Lunar New Year. This year the first day of the lunar calendar falls on February 18 and in 2008 Chinese New Year will fall on February 7 (every year the Chinese New Year will fall on a different day and even fall on a different month). The conclusion of the Chinese New Year is marked by a festival known as the Lantern Festival. The Chinese New Year is the most important traditional holiday. Chinese New Year, like North American Christmas has an "eve" and is called "Chuxi" and the Chinese New Year is celebrated by massive numbers of people who travel home to China from all over the world to be with their families on Chinese New Years Eve.

Days leading up to the Chinese New Years Eve are heavily based on tradition and ritual. Of these rituals there a few that must be done before the New Year arrives. The first of these rituals is house cleaning. The entire house must be cleaned literally from top to bottom (ceilings, walls, floors etc) and on New Year's Eve all cleaning supplies must be hidden. It is believed that if any sweeping is done on New Years Day you will sweep away your good fortune. There are rules that must be adhered to while sweeping during this time as well. You must make sure you do not sweep over the threshold door, by doing so it is believed that you will sweep away a family member therefore you must sweep all the dirt inward and then carry it out the back door.

Doors and window panes are to be decorated and are often painted red, which is considered to be a 'lucky' color. People will often hang paper cuttings in their windows, on their doors and throughout their house. These paper cuttings have themes of happiness and wealth and longevity painted on them. (This paper cutting can be traced back to the Han Dynasty and is called Spring couplets) There are 10 lucky Chinese symbols that are often painted on everything and anything during the Chinese New Year.

It is also a time to acknowledge and pay respect to the many Chinese Gods. One of the most important of these Gods is the Kitchen God. Every traditional Chinese family has a picture or statue of the Kitchen God in their kitchen. It is believed that this God was sent to the family to take charge of the family's affairs and to report what the family had done in the last year. During the time leading up to the Chinese New Year each family would make a sacrifice to the Kitchen God. (This sacrifice is in the form of a kind of a sticky cake called Nian Gao). The purpose of this sacrifice was to ensure that the Kitchen God did not speak/think ill of the family. They believed by offering the Kitchen God a sticky sweet cake he would not be able to speak ill of the family because his mouth would be sealed shut by the stickiness of the cake.

All debts should be paid by the Chinese New Year and no moneys should be lent during this time as it is believed that anyone who does lend will be lending all throughout the coming year. As well, no foul language could be spoken during this time or to use words that were considered unlucky or bad. An example of an unlucky word would be Si ( meaning the number 4) . Si is like the unlucky #13 for us. Si sounds very close to the word for death and therefore is avoided. Nor do people speak of the year ending instead they focus on new beginnings and the year ahead.

There is also no washing your hair on New Years Day. This was another ritual that was to be followed. If you washed your hair it was believed that you would be washing away the good luck of the New Year. In terms of clothing the preferred color was red and it had to be new. Red was considered to be lucky and if you wore red it was believed you would have a bright future. Red envelopes are also given out to children during New Years Day. In every red envelope was dollar bills (often referred to as lucky money) and this signifies good fortune in the New Year. It was also considered lucky to see or hear birds with red feathers. Red also symbolizes fire and it is thought to drive away bad luck and evil spirits.

You are not allowed to use knives or scissors on New Years Day for it is believed that to do so would mean you would cut off your good fortune. It is a time when it is considered unlucky to meet anyone in their bedroom. All gatherings must be held in the living room. Also, the first person to meet another and the first words spoken/heard are considered to the fortune you would receive in the New Year. It is believed that if you cry on New Years Day you will cry throughout the New Year. Chinese elders believed that if they stayed awake through New Years Eve they would be granted a long life.

Firecrackers also play an important role in the New Year. It is believed by the lighting and setting off of the crackers you are ridding yourself of the old year and ushering in the new year. There is also other folklore attached to firecrackers. This lore says there once was an old beast (called Nian) that could swallow people whole. This beast terrified the Chinese people until an old man (often believed to be a god in the disguise of an old man) tamed it and took it away from the village. The old man told the people that they should hang red lanterns and put bamboo in fires to create a loud bang to keep the beast away. After firecrackers were invented people chose them over the 'exploding bamboo'.

Chinese New Years Eve and New Years Day also revolve around family and feasting. Ancestors play a significant role during the festivities. Families will prepare a feast to honor living and dead family members. Departed family members are remembered with great respect. It is believed that this feast brings the spirits of the ancestors to the banquet table to feast with the living relatives. It is a time of family unity of the past and present generations. (Don't forget that the preparation of the New years food had to be done days ahead as they were not allowed to use knives or scissors on New Years Eve or Day). The banquet foods consisted of seafood, vegetables, noodles and dumplings ( called jiao zi which sometimes had coins hidden in them and those who found them were believed to be blessed with good luck) each associated with good luck. Most of these foods were prepared whole and not chopped up as to leave whole symbolized luck - to cut up meant to invite misfortune.
People would also set out a "tray of togetherness" which could be a tray or a box with many little compartments each holding a treats. ( treats can be lotus roots, seeds, melon seeds and other sweet candy treats). When families finally did visit others usually from the 6th to the 10th day tangerines and oranges were given as gifts.

The second day of New Years is called the "Day of Commencement" This day consists of feasting on meats which symbolizes good spirit and hope for a profitable year. On the third day of the New Year people avoided visiting and prefered to stay home in hopes of avoiding " the Day of Squabbles" which, if occurs, will last throughout the New Year. The fourth day of the New Year marks the return of the Kitchen God who has returned from giving the report of the family's last year. The seventh day of the New Year is called "Everyone's Birthday" which marks a time of re birth and blessings.

The last Day of the New Years celebrations is the 15th day and is called the Lantern Festival. During this time red lanterns are decorated (they can be decorated with birds, beasts, and themes such as words to ward off evil spirits or can be riddles) and hung throughout China (indoors and out) They eat sweet dumplings (called Yuan Xiao - round rice balls with either sweet or salty fillings that symbolize family reunion and unity) The highlight of the Lantern festival is the dragon dance. This dragon can reach a length of a hundred feet long and consist of paper, silk and bamboo. This dragon will dance through the streets of China with a parade of dancers, drummers and gongs accompanied with lots of red lanterns and firecrackers.

Oh happy day it's referral day!

2007-02-02T13:33:00.000-03:30

Not for Ray and I of course. We still have about 12 months to go before we get ours but at least the countdown has begun! The CCAA (aka China Centre for Adoption Affairs) has just sent out their latest batch of referrals around the world. Many, many happy people today I suspect. I do love referral days. To see all those precious faces is indescribable. Why am I trying to explain see for yourself!

On the right hand side (near the bottom) of Jade's blog you'll see a link called Rumor Queen. Just click on that and scroll down. The Queen will have a list of blogs that have referral pictures. For those of you who are not familiar with the Rumor Queen she is the lovely lady that seems to have some kind of inside scoop when it comes to guessing what is going on inside the CCAA and when referrals might be approaching. Her site is a USA based site BUT anyone can join her group.

Anyway hurry up and get your baby fix! (I'm also going to post links to some canadian blogs so check them out too.)

Why butterflies and ladybugs?

2007-02-01T15:55:00.000-03:30

When trying to decide what to call Jade's blog I thought long and hard. I considered calling the blog China Jade, Precious Jade, the ever popular Journey to Jade and Bringing Jade home but none of these 'quite fit'. I'm a believer of trying to keep ties with China if at all possible so it seemed natural that I choose something along those lines hence ladybugs and butterflies. I think the ladybug part is self explanatory but for those of you that are just beginning a China journey of your own or those of you who are not familiar with Chinese symbolism etc. I'll fill you in. Ladybugs in China symbolize good luck. As far as I'm concerned individuals going through the 'adoption process' need as much good luck as possible! I also like to think that Jade will have as much good luck as she can handle after all, a wee little thing who has gone through so much upset and turmoil in the short span of life deserves it. So, bring on the good luck till my cup runneth over! Many expectant parents will often keep on the look out for lady bug sightings as well. Every time one is sighted the adoption circles wait in anticipation because more often than not those precious referrals come soon after and who in their right mind would not like to associate those lucky little lady bugs with that? I've come to look at the ladybugs as the Chinese version of the stork.

Now, butterfly symbolism on the other hand, may not be as widely known. In China, butterflies symbolize all sorts of things. They symbolize love, long life, beauty, joy and my personal favorite, new beginnings. It is believed in China that if you see a butterfly that has landed on a plum blossom you will be granted long life. If paired with a cat (for instance on a piece of jewelry) it symbolizes that you will live 70 to 90 years. If a butterfly settles on you the Chinese believe that you are being blessed. When you see two butterflies dancing in the air entwined, it is believed to symbolize a loving couple. (Chinese folk stories often call these couples 'Butterfly Lovers'). Since butterflies are entwined with love, it is quite common for Chinese people to give brides and grooms items with butterflies on them as wedding gifts. Lastly, during the Qing dynasty it was common to see the cuffs of silk robes of the Empress embroidered with dancing butterflies.

One of my any wishes and hopes for Jade is that throughout her life she will be blessed, loved, have and see beauty, live a long life and experience as much joy as possible. (the good luck part is a given) As I said before butterflies symbolize new beginnings and that is what this WHOLE journey for us and Jade is about. A new beginning as a family. That is why I chose to name Jade's blog butterflies and ladybugs.

Welcome to Jade's blog Butterflies and Ladybugs!

2007-02-01T13:30:00.001-03:30

Well,

After 3 years of reading many, many blogs I've finally decided to start one of our own. For the last three ( yes, count them, 3!) years we have embarked on a wonderful adventure and are currently waiting for our daughter Jade to let us know she is ready for us.

This is a journey that we have shared with so many other people before us, many of whom we'll never have the chance to meet in person. This road, long and winding with many ups, downs and at times seemingly never ending, will ultimately carry us to Jade. It is a road that has been by now, well worn. The road, like the Great Wall of China, has been forged through much time, sweat, tears, blood love and hope.

Through Jade's blog I've decided to invite you to walk with us to get her. This blog will serve as part of Jade's history and will, I hope, serve to answer some of her questions of who, what, where, when and why. It will attempt to show her the history of China - the land where she began her walk to us, the culture, beliefs and anything else I decide will be beneficial to her. So, pull up a chair, get comfy and come along with us to China and Jade!

Wendy