Excuse me Mother Nature but

have you forgotten us? Yoohoo! I'm over here in case you've missed me - ummm, wait now, perhaps I'll rephrase that - in case you've missed Newfoundland entirely!! It certainly seems that way. You know, they say that spring has sprung, well, I don't know where it has sprung but its not here on the rock that's for sure. Perhaps Spring is not in the plans for good 'ole NL this year. That's it, Mother Nature, by the time she got all around the world sprouting spring she was just too tired. That has to be it, she was too sprung out. What other reason could it be? I guess the poor tuckered out old girl figured NL could wait a bit longer, afterall, we on the rock are used to hardship, waiting( won't expand on that subject in adoption terms), being last on everyone's list and 'sucky', nasty weather. Mirror mirror on the wall, what kind of weather will it be for the rock a'tal? Well, I see cold and wind and fog and rain but not sunshine or spring at all!

Thanks a bunch Mother Nature! Next time you are in town don't bother to call, we'll be too busy to talk because either;

1. won't be able to see you for all the fog
2. will be all froze to death from the cold
3. too busy shovelling out from under all the surprise snow you dumped on us for May 24th.

By the way, if you happen upon Mother Nature give her a boot (you know where!) and tell her to smarten up! NL does exist and we want Spring dang nabit!

Its getting hairy out there in the adoption world people!

I don't know whats going on but the world as we know it in adoption circles is being turned upside down! O.k. lets do a recap as some of my loyal followers are not adopting.

The past couple of weeks I have seen, read or heard:

1. Japan has implemented "drop off hatches" for abandoned babies. Sounds horrible I know but it does make sense in a way. Some hospitals have put these outside their bldgs so that people can drop off their babies. It is in response to a high ratio of babies being abandoned in cars, parks, shops and even bicycle carts. This hatch is incubated and rigged so that when a baby is dropped off the alarm will sound to alert medical staff that they have a new arrival. They then retreive the baby, assess it, give it medical attention and then put it up for adoption. I wonder does that mean we will be able to adopt from there soon?

2. The CCAA is experiencing some kind of matching glitch (that's my spin on it)month to match 2 days worth of babies!? I don't even know what to think about that one so I'll just leave it be....

3. India is opening up to the western world for adoption. To date, to adopt from India you have to be of Indian decent. Thousand of babies are not being adopted and left in orphanages because of this. The Indian Government is looking to open the program to non Indians heavily recruiting in the US and Britain. I know for a fact that our agency is currently working with India for non Indians too. YAY for us! The Indian Govt. says that the adoption process will be MUCH shorter than China and that it will be open to singles. Great news all around I say!

4. Guatemala had its hands slapped. Govt. has been told to pull up its socks in terms or international adoption or they are going to shut it down. This does not apply to Canada as the program has been closed for years. Its a hard day when a country closes its doors to IA. Everyone loses but mostly the chldren.

5. Russia has stated that it will be closing its doors to USA agency facilitated adoption. There are reports of children being adopted in the past that have been abused, neglected and killed. This too is another sad day for everyone involved as I'm sure these cases of abuse etc. were few and far between. It does not affect Canada nor private USA adoptions.

All of this only reinforces that adopotion is not an easy road. Whoever said adoption was the easy way needs their head examined!

Take care everyone and lets all hope that the children affected in these changes are looked after to their best ability.

Little Ms. Brea

A couple of posts ago I talked about Brea, who was having some heart trouble. For those of you who were wondering about her I'm happy to report that she has received her new heart and is coming along well. She celebrated being 22 months old with a new heart on April 5th. Yay Brea!

What a lovely idea

In my rambling searches I came across a lady who, on every full moon lights a single candle for her baby's birth mother. What a nice tradition to incorportate into your baby's life when she arrives.

A hard day and some words of wisdom

Today people is what I consider a hard day. I just heard rumblings from the adoption circles that the CCAA took ALL of March to match 2 days worth of files. In 2005 when "the hubby" and I started the process time to referral was 6-8 months and the CCAA was matching a month of files per month. Recently (for the last year to now) the CCAA has slowed the matching to 2 weeks of files per month. That being said, a month to match 2 days leaves many of us waiting with a huge lump in our throats. If it continues the wait may even become longer.

Now, I hate doom and gloom and try to avoid it if at all possible so naturally I looked for any shed of light I could find. This is what I what I have to say. Too many of us on this adoption journey get caught up in the negative. Our thoughts and conversations revolve around the shoulda, coulda, woulda and nevers. What we tend to forget is this... we started this process ( we managed to get though all the paperwork, medicals, home study etc and I'm quite sure more than just me muttered will this ever end!) and we will eventually get to China and have our babies. We need to live in the mean time. Why allow such negative thoughts and words to rob us of this experience? Don't worry about what lies ahead for that too will come in time and work itself out. Live your life today and enjoy every scrap of it. When you do get your baby (and you will) your life will change. Practice on yourself. I say this because when we finally do get Jade I know for a fact this little girl, if I can help it, will not know the word never. She will be positive, self assured and can't will never enter her vocabulary. Why, then, should we be ruled by it? These folks, are my words of wisdom for today.

Culture - A funny little thing

I've always found culture and ritual fascinating. When I was contemplating a degree in Forensic Anthropology I loved all the Social Anthropology electives. I was mesmerized by the idea of how cultures can take the same thing and turn it into something completely different and unique to their own society. Wonder where I'm going with this? Well, there is a significant holiday that occurs during April in China; April 5th to be exact. This holiday is a perfect example of how China 'interprets' a familiar cultural aspect of life and makes it their own. I'm talking about their Ching Ming Festival. For those of you who are not familiar with this festival it revolves around ancestral veneration. Ahh, perhaps we will need a little background information so you can understand Ching Ming better.

O.k. throughout Chinese history family life encompassed elders ( elder generations were and still are the most important members of a family) and these elders received (and still do) great respect. In Chinese culture this elder respect continued even after the elder family members died. Now, its important to note that the Chinese do not distinguish a heaven and hell like we westerners do. The Chinese believe when you die you still exist and therefore still need food and they also believe that the living family members can communicate with the deceased elders or ancestors. Family members do this by way of Ancestral Veneration or Ancestor Worship (not worship as in God worship). They set out food for the ancestors who then eat the food's essence. The reason behind this veneration is to ensure the ancestors (elders) well-being and positive influence. Basically, it helps maintain the family bond; respect,loyalty, honor and keeps memories alive. They look after the ancestors and in return the ancestors look after them (something along the lines of acting as a guardian to help guide living members through their lives). With me so far? Good.

This brings me to Ching Ming which I think is wonderful. I love the whole idea of it and when Jade comes I think I might try to incorporate bits of it into her life.
Ching means pure and clean and Ming means brightness. When combined it means clean and just. Ching Ming was declared a National holiday in 732 A.D. during the Tang Dynasy and Ancestral Veneration is the only tradition unique to China. It is now often referred to as "Spring Remembrance".

What happens during Ching Ming? Well, basically, on this festival day, the Chinese visit the grave markers of their ancestors. It is a day that is totally devoted to ancestor veneration. During the day, family members clean the area(s) around the markers (spring cleaning you might say), add fresh flowers and provide food. Family members eat with the ancestors (a picnic of sorts - some scholars would argue with me over this as they say the food is not for a picnic but instead an offering to the ancestors. To me, its a picnic) There is a whole ritual that surrounds the food offerings (which I won't get into) and during this picnic they bring the ancestors up to date with the family news. Some families will also incorporate setting off firecrackers. The point of this is to scare off any evil spirits that may be lurking and to alert the ancestors of their (the living family's) presence. Some will offer the ancestors paper money and burn incense.

Isn't Ching Ming fascinating? Now, I know some of you think I've lost a brain cell or two by saying I love the idea of Ching Ming but just think about it for a minute. In Western society/culture we associate losing a family member with sorrow and pain. Once they pass on they are gone. Why is this? The Chinese "celebrate" (I'm not saying they don't mourn as they do) family. They believe their ancestors still exist you just can't see them. The ancestors are still "active" in the family's life but reside on a different plain.

See how culture blends itself to become unique within a society? Western society does have a Ching Ming of their own, after all how many times do you go down memory lane starting a conversation with a family member by saying "remember when Aunt so in so did...." but we just let too much sadness and sorrow get in the way. We need to learn, as a society and culture, to celebrate life and family more.

In conclusion, I like the idea of Ching Ming for a number of reasons. I want our bond with Jade to continue after "the hubby" and I are no longer here. I want her to celebrate our family and the memories that we made. I want her to talk to us and tell us what is going on in her life. I want her to continue to share with us. I don't want pain and sorrow to enter into it.

Hope and Faith - Sometimes that's all we have

I confess, I've been following along with a particular adoption blog lately. It is a blog of a darling little baby by the name of Brea Wusterbarth. (Message to "the hubby" if you are starting to read this STOP! It will be too much for your soft heartedness to endure.) Little Brea came home to the USA in October 2006. Since being home she developed a cold which turned into a virus which eventually damaged her heart. She was hospitalized and it was determined that she would need a heart transplant. I don't think I can say anymore but I've included Brea's blog here www.babyjellybeans.com If you have some time I suggest that you follow Brea's journey from China to present day.

I have to admit that Brea's mother has been an inspiration to me and while I'm not a very religious person she has made me "think" quite often. Those on the adoption journey will agree that more often than not it is hope and faith that gets us through and in some cases it is all we have. We all need something to believe in.