Hey! Who turned out the lights?!

I can't see! Come on, turn them back on! Please, pretty please?

Wondering what I'm ranting about? Well, as you know I've been following the CCAA website very closely this month. For anyone who is not familiar with the CCAA site there is a information box on their homepage which tells what date they have matched to and what date they have reviewed to. This little box is extremely important as it allows you to follow your file. Every month the CCAA updates this box when they send out the new referrals. I have come to call this little date box my 'sanity' box. Its where all my hopes and prayers are kept and it is the only thing that helps keep my sanity. That is, until now.....

According to the Rumor Queen (RQ) site, from now on my 'sanity box' will be no more. The Rumor Queen said that the CCAA has implemented a new policy whereby only agencies will be privy to the date information. These agencies will have a login code and will be the only ones who can access this information. The CCAA will not be updating the date box for the general public to view.

Now, what do you think the odds are that the agencies will be releasing the date information to waiting families, and, if they do, who is to say that you will be receiving the correct date information? I say this because my agency sent out a memo last week stating that they received word from the CCAA that matching had not begun, yet, on the Rumor Queen site referrals were mailed out and some countries were receiving them as of today. They (RQ) are saying that in this little private box the CCAA is stating that they have have matched files with a LID up to October 24, 2005.

I really don't like this. I mean come on, how am I supposed to know what stage our file is at and if it is out of the dreaded review room? By taking away my sanity box I've lost my deluded perception of having some sort of control. Do I have to lose this too? I'm a control freak for those that don't know me and as far as I'm concerned I have had no real control since I started this adoption. I've only pretended I've had it...

I was never afraid of the dark before but I am now. Jade, where are you? I can't see, its too dark! Can someone turn the lights back on and give me a shred of control? No answer huh...

Sitting, waiting and fretting in the dark...